Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-25
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Some people think that primary schools focus too much on formal learning . Yes i slightly agree with this opinion . We discuss on this essay and also i provide my opinion .
In nowadays , people think that primary schools focus too much on formal learning . But i think in the primary schools focus too much on the formal learning are harmful for small children . It affects on their mind . It take stress to small children. If we force them in small age to do study than they also refuse to study in big age . And this opinion also harm to children health .
On the other hand , some reasons favour to tis opinion . Firstly , if children learn formal learning in primary school than they essaly handle to study in higher classes . But if they don't learn the formal learning in lower classes than this will be harm to their higher classes . And also for children it is important that he/she play in their small age in the primary school because this the age which can children enjoy. i think play is most important for a children than learning in their small age .
To conclude, all people have their own opinion on this argument but i disagree with this opinion . but also i , however , give preference to both that primary schools focus too much on formal learning as well as playing . So , we all give preference to both .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt, but the development of ideas is limited and repetitive. While you state your position, the arguments are somewhat contradictory; for instance, you state you disagree with the opinion that schools focus too much on formal learning, yet you also argue that this focus is 'harmful' and causes 'stress'. The ideas lack depth and specific examples, which prevents a more thorough exploration of the topic. To improve, ensure your position is consistent throughout the essay and provide concrete examples or explanations to support your claims rather than repeating the same points in different ways.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression of ideas is frequently interrupted by repetitive phrasing and a lack of sophisticated cohesive devices. You rely heavily on basic connectors like 'but', 'and', and 'firstly'. Some sentences are disjointed, such as 'We discuss on this essay and also i provide my opinion', which does not flow naturally. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'in contrast') to connect your ideas more smoothly and improve the overall flow of your arguments.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive, often relying on basic words like 'study', 'learn', and 'small age'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'essaly handle to study' (easily handle studies) and 'harm to children health'. You attempt to use some academic vocabulary, but it is often used incorrectly or in a way that sounds unnatural. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise vocabulary related to education and child development, and work on using words in their correct collocations to ensure your meaning is clear and professional.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('it take stress'), article usage ('in the primary schools'), and sentence structure ('if we force them in small age to do study than they also refuse'). The range of structures is limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with some attempts at complex ones that are often inaccurate. These errors occasionally make the meaning difficult to follow. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of prepositions and articles. Proofreading your work for these common errors will significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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