Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is widely argued that primary school prioritize traditional learning techniques over allowing students to learn by participating through extracurricular activities like playing sports. I firmly agree with this notion as primary schools often put too much emphasis on childrens academic performance rather then focusing on their cognitive development.

Primary schools have been observed to prioritize students academic achievements over their cognitive enhancement. They often enourage rote-learning and promote superficial memorization of topics related to the core syllabus rather than encouraging indepth learning and understanding. Moreover, their primary focus is to help students get exceptional grades in their classrooms which has eventually created a system of education which judges students based on their academic achievements rather than focusing on their hollistic development. This can not only demoitvate alot of students academically but can also be detrimental to their psychologial well-being.

Though critics argue, that children should be allowed to cultivate their social skills too which are equally essential in their overall development. Schools should promote experiential learning which might refine their professional skills . Similarly, additional non-academic activities like playing can effectively enhance students critical thinking. They can learn group cooperation and communication methods which can enhance social cohesion and help them to become better members of the society. In addition, too much studies can become mentally frustrating for alot of students and can increase the burnout rates among school-going children. Sports can considerably mitigate these adverse impacts and offer children to learn in a healthy atmosphere.

To conclude, primary educational institutes should start diverting their attention to more practical and experiential learning which would be highly beneficial for their physical and mental development instead of emphasizing too much on continuing the traditional methods of education.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding the focus on formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout, and the arguments regarding cognitive development and social skills are relevant. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive; for instance, the points about 'academic performance' and 'grades' are restated in different ways without adding significant depth. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific examples or nuanced explanations of how play specifically translates into long-term benefits, rather than relying on general statements about burnout or social cohesion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. Cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Similarly', and 'In addition' are used to link ideas, although some transitions feel slightly mechanical. The progression of ideas is generally smooth, though the connection between the second and third paragraphs could be tighter. Referencing is mostly clear, but there are instances where the flow is slightly interrupted by minor grammatical slips. Overall, the structure is effective and supports the reader's understanding of your argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with some precision, using terms like 'holistic development', 'experiential learning', and 'social cohesion'. However, there are several spelling errors ('prioritize' vs 'prioritise' consistency, 'enourage', 'indepth', 'hollistic', 'demoitvate', 'psychologial') and minor collocation issues ('too much studies' should be 'too much study' or 'too many studies'). While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on accurate spelling and more natural collocations will significantly improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you successfully employ complex sentences, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. Examples include 'rather then' (should be 'rather than'), 'alot' (should be 'a lot'), and 'Though critics argue, that...' (incorrect comma usage). Additionally, there are subject-verb agreement issues and minor errors in word form. While these errors rarely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. Increasing your control over complex structures and proofreading for basic punctuation and spelling will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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