Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often highly regarded that primary schools place excessive emphasis on formal education, at expense of other activities. While I agree that academic instruction is important, I believe that formal learning is essential but play should given equal importance in the early year of schooling.

There is no doubt that primary education lay a foundation like numeracy, literacy, science for rest of the studies. These skills are very important because these are very important for progress in higher education and for a successful career. For this reason, many schools dedicated classroom time to structured classes, test and assignments. However, when the curriculum become so rigid, pressure increased on young children. This causes a student to loose his motivation, creativity even love of learning. For- example: in several Asian countries, primary pupil spend about 6 hours in formal classes and then get time for recreation.

I believe play is not a distraction from studies, but a vital part of it. Through play, children should develop social skills like problem solving abilities, communication skills and confidence building. Group games teach teamwork and communication, while imaginative play foster creativity. Researchers also shows that physical activities improves concentration and memory, which proved to be very helpful in academic performances. Therefore, schools should integrate play-based learning activities in classrooms.

In conclusion, although formal learning provides essential knowledge, primary schools should on it but on sports also. A balanced approach that combines structured lessons with better support children academic, social, cultural, individual and emotional development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are relevant. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the mention of Asian countries is a good start but lacks specific detail to fully support the argument. The conclusion is slightly underdeveloped and contains grammatical errors that obscure the final message. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with more specific examples or logical reasoning to demonstrate a deeper exploration of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. Cohesive devices such as 'However', 'For this reason', and 'Therefore' are used to link ideas. However, there are instances where the flow is slightly mechanical or the referencing is unclear, such as in the final paragraph where the sentence 'primary schools should on it but on sports also' is disjointed. While the progression of ideas is generally clear, the use of cohesive devices could be more varied and natural to improve the overall flow of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'academic instruction', 'curriculum', and 'structured classes'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'at expense of' (should be 'at the expense of') and 'loose his motivation' (should be 'lose'). The range is sufficient to communicate, but more precise and sophisticated vocabulary would be needed to reach a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('curriculum become', 'pressure increased', 'Researchers also shows') and article usage. Some sentences are also missing necessary prepositions or auxiliary verbs, such as 'play should given' instead of 'play should be given'. These errors are noticeable but do not consistently impede communication. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and ensuring consistent verb tense usage.

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