Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-25
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In todays rapidly changing world, what should a children learn at their primarily level of school is a main concern between individuals. In view of certain public nowadays schools have extremely focus on only academic learning but from my perspective kids should learn about indoor or outdoor games they are beneficial for them. In this essay, I will explain my opinion and reasons of it.
On the one side of the argument, critics say that present learning institutes are only focusing on academic activities because competition is increasing day by day so, they have to show off their academic grades to other schools. This is a source of their income due to high achievement in marks they can attract more students toward their institutes. As a result, they escalated the burden on kids as it effect their health. In addition, their thinking and problem solving ability are also affected by this.
On the other hand, I believe that teaching institutes should focus on other things like, sports ;this will help them in their health and boost their immune system. With that it will also enhance their capability of physical activities and kids at primary school will learn about the importance of games. For example, if students have athletics activity with their studies, their brain will work more swiftly as compared to a kid that is pressurized by his studies and have no time for other activities.
To reiterate, although studies are crucial for children at school but, in my opinion sports play an significant role in maintain the health of kids and also improve their working ability. Therefore, school should also focus on other activities.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that academic pressure affects health and problem-solving, these points could be expanded with more specific examples or deeper analysis. The argument regarding the benefits of sports is relevant but remains at a general level. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point is fully explored rather than just stated, providing a more comprehensive discussion of the balance between academic and physical development.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. There is a basic progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'On the one side', 'On the other hand', and 'To reiterate', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical, and the flow between sentences is occasionally interrupted by awkward phrasing. Referencing is generally clear, but the use of cohesive devices could be more varied and sophisticated to improve the overall flow and connectivity of the argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You attempt some less common items, such as 'escalated' and 'swiftly', though there are instances of imprecise word choice, such as 'teaching institutes' instead of 'educational institutions' and 'primarily level' instead of 'primary level'. There are also minor errors in word formation (e.g., 'an significant' instead of 'a significant'). To improve, focus on using collocations more accurately and expanding your range of academic vocabulary to avoid repetitive phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, such as 'what should a children learn', 'schools have extremely focus', and 'if students have athletics activity... they will work'. These errors, while not impeding communication, are noticeable and occur regularly. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the placement of semicolons and commas. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and ensuring that complex sentence structures are constructed accurately.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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