Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this case i think children should both focus on learning as well as playing. In primary school mostly they focus on children playing . Because they are very little child so they are not suddenly learn everything at a time.

To begin with, baby child are not friendly in schools environment, So we need to focus how they firstly familiar with this environment. After that they can slowly know about all the study material. Like we adult when study something new then we also follow the instructions and they learn the topic. Like that children are beginner in school learning phase. So how they are not feel pressurized and how they are not feel too much stress , we work on this. After time we can teach them all the subjects. For my experience, when i was children i was crying when the teacher were forcing to learn something and i was not friendly to every body. So, now primary school focus on how they acquainted

with school premises.

Secondly, when they are playing that time children feel very much happy and mix with there friends, so they are not crying in schools. Moreover more schools now focus on play and fun , Where they can enjoy with there classmates. So, the can focus study and learn easily with this environment. While we focus on too much formal learning they are not may be that much of capable to think and learn everything suddenly. So do not scold and pressure put on their mind . Slowly they can learn the basic and then advance. I suggest both learn and play are much necessary in primary school.

In conclusion, in my opinion we should focus on children learning from playing and fun not force them to study too much. Otherwise they feel like learning is a task and they are not enjoy the study. So we focus on their mindset , what they want to learn first , according to that we can teach them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is limited. The arguments are repetitive, focusing primarily on the emotional comfort of children rather than exploring broader educational or developmental benefits. The position is clear, but the supporting points lack depth and specific examples, relying heavily on personal anecdotes rather than broader reasoning. To improve, you should expand on the pedagogical benefits of play, such as social skill development or cognitive engagement, rather than just stating that children should not be 'pressured'.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'Like we adult when study something new' or 'Like that children are beginner'. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the transition between ideas feels disjointed. While there is a logical progression from the introduction to the conclusion, the lack of sophisticated linking words makes the flow feel repetitive. Improving the variety of transition signals and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer to their antecedents would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'playing', 'fun', 'study', and 'learn'. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'baby child', 'not friendly in schools environment', and 'pressure put on their mind'. These errors occasionally impede the clarity of your message. To reach a higher band, you need to move beyond basic vocabulary and attempt to use more precise, academic terminology related to education and child development. Focus on learning collocations rather than individual words to improve your naturalness and accuracy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. While there are attempts at complex sentences, they are frequently marred by grammatical errors, such as 'how they are not feel pressurized' and 'they are not may be that much of capable'. Subject-verb agreement and article usage are inconsistent throughout the text. Punctuation is also problematic, with spaces missing before commas and periods. To improve, you should focus on mastering basic sentence construction and ensuring that your complex sentences are grammatically sound. Reducing the frequency of these errors is essential for a higher score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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