Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, many junior schools are focusing to deliver mainly formal learning to their pupils. While some argue that primary schools should focus on classroom-based learning. From my perspective, I think both are essential for pupils as studying from text books can aid gain knowledge and physical activity also plays a crucial role in a child's mental and physical heath.

First and foremost, primary schools are the base for a child's mental and physical development. Where text book leaning can help them to gain knowledge about Science, Geography, History and can help to learning language. For an example, by studying English language they can communicate easily in future in their work place. Moreover, History can help them to know from where their ancestors came from and old traditions, cultural heritage as well. Hence, students can understand the value of culture and can feel connected deeply with local traditions.

However, playing outdoor activities are also beneficial for the students as it can help them to feel free and it also crucial for their physical development. In present times, due to excessive study pressure pupils are not getting enough time to play outside after school time. For instance, a sport activity period in curriculum can helpful to them as it can give the students take a break from study pressure.

To conclude, in my point of view, text book learning is important for the students where playing outdoor games are also playing a significant role for them as it aids in development either mentally or physically.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention that formal learning aids knowledge and play aids development, the arguments lack depth and specific examples. For instance, the mention of 'Science, Geography, History' is a list rather than an explanation of how these subjects specifically benefit from a balanced approach. To reach a higher band, you should expand on the 'why' and 'how' of your arguments, providing more detailed reasoning to support your position throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. You use some cohesive devices such as 'First and foremost', 'Moreover', and 'However' to signal transitions. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by mechanical phrasing and some awkward sentence structures, such as 'Where text book leaning can help them...'. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes repetitive, and the connection between sentences could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one will help improve the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'curriculum', 'ancestors', and 'cultural heritage'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and minor errors, such as 'aid gain knowledge' (should be 'aid in gaining knowledge') and 'heath' (spelling error for 'health'). The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, relying on basic descriptors. To improve, try to incorporate more precise collocations and less common academic vocabulary to demonstrate a wider range and better control over word choice.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the fluency of the text. Examples include 'many junior schools are focusing to deliver' (should be 'focusing on delivering'), 'can helpful to them' (should be 'can be helpful'), and 'playing outdoor games are also playing' (redundant verb usage). Punctuation is generally functional, but some sentences are fragmented or lack proper subordination. Increasing your control over complex sentence forms and proofreading for subject-verb agreement will significantly enhance your grammatical accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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