Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In contemporary world, it is seen that primary school is focused majorly on academic subjects without incorporating play as a means of learning for children. In my opinion, I do not completely agree with the lack of informal activities in the classroom because children learn better with role play and it gives them the opportunity to develop other skills. These points will be explained in the following paragraghs with examples followed by a logical conclusion.

To begin with, primary school curriculum involves subjects like english, mathematics, social studies, agriculture and language studies, these are formal subjects that the pupils must study and excel in. However, it is important to input something that does not involve too much mental work like role play or play time, as it is often said that children also learn from playing. This helps them to relax their brain while still picking up knowledge on other aspect of life such as co-operation, proper communication, and community support. Take for instance, children often role play what they are taught in school such as the family cycle or family tree. They can also do cooking show in form of acting, this to a large extent help to sharpen their cognitive skills.

Furthermore, including extra-curricular activities to the subjects of learners can help to develop skills such as tailoring, gardening, and hair making. They can subsequently improve on these acquisitions and make a living out of them later in life. This is to say that, formal training is very valuable, however learning other skills either through play or deliberate means can help provide an opportunity to earn a living later in life expecially in cases where the children never excelled academically. For example, an individual improving on the sewing skills learnt from school and later becoming a professional tailor in the future.

In conclusion, formal education is important as well as including play and extra activities to the curriculum of primary school children as this can help them learn more and build other skills that can be valuable in the future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed both parts of the prompt: your stance on the focus of primary education and the importance of play. Your position is clear throughout the essay. The ideas are relevant, particularly the distinction between formal subjects and the developmental benefits of play. However, the development of these ideas could be more nuanced. For instance, while you mention 'tailoring' and 'hair making' as extra-curricular activities, these are perhaps more vocational than the 'play' typically discussed in primary education contexts. To reach a higher band, ensure your examples are more closely aligned with the concept of 'play-based learning' in a primary school setting, such as collaborative games or creative arts, rather than vocational training.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with sentence-level cohesion. For example, in the second paragraph, the sentence '...these are formal subjects that the pupils must study and excel in' is a comma splice. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that sentences flow more naturally into one another would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'contemporary world', 'cognitive skills', and 'extra-curricular activities'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'input something' (instead of 'incorporate' or 'introduce') and 'hair making' (which is usually referred to as 'hairdressing'). While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the sophistication and precision required for higher bands. Attempting to use more precise collocations and academic synonyms would help elevate your lexical score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'In contemporary world' (missing an article), 'paragraghs' (spelling error), and 'this to a large extent help' (subject-verb agreement error: 'helps'). Additionally, there are some punctuation issues, such as the comma splice in the second paragraph. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and article usage will significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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