Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued that some pupils have opposite thoughts about primary schools focus more on formal learning. I completely agree with this view because schools have only teach their syllabus rather then give some practical knowledge and they also give examination burden on students.

To begin with, one major reason why I agree with this view is that because school's main aim to finish syllabus rather than improve childrens practical knowledge. This is because each subjects have too large chapters and syllabus. In other words teacher also pressurize to end syllabus. For example, in many schools has cbse boards and cbse board have too large syllabus and it is too difficults to over in during semester time. Therefore, results is the children suffuring from lack of chapters understanding.

Another important point to consider is that Young children spend many hours on textbooks, exams, homework and memorisation. This is particularly important because excessive academic pressure can make children feel stressed and reduce their interest in learning. For instance, childrens do not have time to play, relax and participate in a activities because of their homework and examinations pressure. Consequently, children may become tired and lose motivation to study. Thus, it is clear that primary schools should reduce excessive formal learning and provide children with more opportunities for play and creative development.

In conclusion, I strongly agree with the view that most pupils argue that primary school mostly focus on formal learning. This is mainly because syllabus pressure and examination pressure.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development is somewhat repetitive. While you clearly state your position, the supporting arguments rely heavily on the same points (syllabus pressure and exams) without exploring the benefits of play in sufficient depth. The introduction is slightly confusing, as it mentions 'pupils have opposite thoughts' which does not accurately reflect the prompt. To improve, ensure each paragraph introduces a distinct, well-supported idea rather than restating the same problem in different words.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'In other words', and 'Consequently' to link sentences. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as the repetitive use of 'This is because' and 'This is particularly important'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. You rely on basic terms like 'too large', 'too difficults', and 'too much'. There are also some errors in word formation and collocation, such as 'results is the children suffuring' (should be 'the result is that children suffer') and 'over in during' (should be 'complete during'). To improve, try to incorporate more academic collocations and precise terminology related to education and child development.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('each subjects have'), pluralisation ('childrens'), and incorrect preposition usage. There are also several punctuation errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'schools have only teach their syllabus'. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be highly beneficial.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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