Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Some individuals argue that primary school need to focus mainly on formal learning only. I disagree, with this point because i believe that children need some enjoyment like playing sports or game so that they can be able more focus at their study without any stress or anxiety.
On the one hand, some people thinks that formal learning is more important at primary school so that they can get a good grade at their academics. Furthermore, they argue that if children only play the games then they could not able concentrate at studies and interest related to studies may get decline and due that children might get failure during the exam.
On the other hand, if the children get option to play as well as learn in primary school then they become passinate about learning like wise with help technology options of 3d effects videos and lecture are available in animiate form as special for subjects which main base on practical and real life. Moreover, children can able to capture picture in their mind in faster ways as compared only learning therotical concepts. In addition, if teacher arrange the quiz in game or play for particular then every children will completed the test vwith happiness or without any stress or fear.
In conclusion, although the children need to learn the formal learning is important but with help better option like arranging quiz, games or animination with help education then its very easy for children to understand the difficult concepts in easily way.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you provide reasons for your position, the arguments lack depth and specific examples. For instance, the mention of '3d effects' and 'videos' is a good start, but it is not fully explained how these specifically facilitate learning compared to traditional methods. To improve, ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence followed by a well-developed explanation and a concrete example to support your claims.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' to signal shifts in your writing. However, the flow within paragraphs is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. Some transitions feel mechanical, and the connection between ideas could be smoother. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that pronouns and references clearly point back to the intended subjects.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'animiate form' instead of 'animated form', 'passinate' instead of 'passionate', and 'main base on' instead of 'primarily based on'. Additionally, some phrases are repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'formal learning' and 'study'. To improve, try to incorporate more academic collocations and synonyms to express your ideas more naturally and precisely.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'some people thinks'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'could not able concentrate'), and missing articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement will significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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