Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

IT IS OFTEN ARGUED BY SOME PEOPLE THAT PRIMARY SCHOOLS FOCUS SIGNIFICANTLY ON FORMAL LEARNING METHODS. I AGREE TO THIS VIEW TO A GREATER EXTENT THAT THE FORMAL EDUCATION METHODS ARE STILL SIGNIFICANTLY FOCUSSED IN PRIMARY SCHOOL DESPITE AWARENESS GIVEN TO THEM ABOUT ITS DRAWBACKS.

IT IS DUE TO THE REASON THAT THEY BELIEVE IT DEVELOP SENSE OF DISCIPLINE AND PUNCTUALITY AMONG CHILDREN. PRIMARY SDCHOOLS FORCE CHILDREN TO LEARN NURSERY RHYMES AND ACADEMIC CURRICULUM RATHER THAN BUILDING CHARACTER AND MORAL.FOR INTANCE, MOST SCHOOLS IN PAKISTAN USE ORTHODOX METHOD OF LEARNING FOR PROMOTING CRAMMING AMONG CHILDREN.

ANOTHER SIGNIFICANT FACTOR IS THAT ,SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT SUCH FORMAL LEARNING METHOD FOCUSES ENTIRELY ON TEACHING BASIC EDUCATION WHICH CHILDREN CANNOT LEARN AT HOME, SO THAT IT MAKES THEIR FURTHER EDUCATION EASIER. A CLEAR EXAMPLE OF THIS IS USAGE OF BOARDS AND NOTEBOOKS INSTEAD OF POWERPOINTS AND TECHNOLOGY.

I FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT ALONG WITH SUCH EDUCATIONAL CURRICULUM ,SOME PRACTICAL ACTIVITIES SHOULD BE INTRODUCED IN PRIMARY SCHOOLS. IT WILL BOOST PHYSICAL FITTNESS IN CHILDREN BECAUSE A HEALTHY BODY HAS A HEALTHY MIND. MOREOVER, IT WILL STRENGTHEN BOTH MENTAL AND PHYSICAL CAPABILITIES OF CHILDREN.IN ADDITION, THERE SHOULD NOT BE DEVELOPMENT OF RESTRICTED ENVIRONMENT IN THE SCHOOLS AS IT WILL LIMIT CREATIVITY IN CHILDREN.

TO CONCLUDE, EDUCATION FRAMEWORK IN PRIMARY SCHOOLS SHOULD BE REESTABLISHED AND SHOULD FOSTER ETHNIC VALUES, MORAL VALUE AND ORIGNALITY IN CHILDREN. PLAYFUL ACTIVITIES, SOLVING PUZZLES, DRWAING AND BASIC LIVING SKILLS SHOULD BE PRACTICED IN SCHOOLS. GOVERNMENT SHOULD IMPLEMENT THESE ACTIVITIES IN BOTH PUBLIC AND PRIVATE SECTORS. IN THIS WAY, IT WILL NUTURE OUR YOUNG GENERATION.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, acknowledging the focus on formal learning and arguing for the inclusion of play. However, the development is somewhat uneven. The explanation for why schools focus on formal learning is clear, but the discussion on the importance of play is a bit generic. The position is consistent throughout, but the arguments could be more deeply explored with more specific examples beyond the mention of Pakistan. The essay meets the requirements of the task, but the depth of analysis is limited, keeping it at a mid-level band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. There is a progression of ideas from the current state of formal education to the benefits of incorporating play. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Another significant factor', 'Moreover', and 'To conclude', though some transitions feel a bit mechanical. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. While the flow is generally logical, the connection between sentences could be smoother to achieve a higher band.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the student to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'orthodox', 'nurture', and 'reestablished'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice, such as 'awareness given to them about its drawbacks' and 'boost physical fittness'. Spelling errors like 'SDCHOOLS', 'FITTNESS', 'DRWAING', and 'ORIGNALITY' are present. The range is sufficient to communicate, but the lack of precision and spelling issues prevent a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. Examples include 'I agree to this view to a greater extent that', 'It is due to the reason that they believe it develop sense', and 'there should not be development of restricted environment'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas and periods. These errors are noticeable but do not significantly impede communication, placing the response in the 6.0 band.

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