Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

A lot of people argue that primary schools focus more on formal learning. I agree with this statement because juveniles will have a better understanding when they are taught in a more interesting way rather than through traditional formal teaching methods.

Nowadays, many schools focus too much on formal learning rather than teaching children in more interesting ways. It is significant for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom because it will have a positive impact on their mental health as well as learning the content of the course. Students seem less interested when they are attending a formal class but when the environment of classroom is healthy they show interest in the class. When children participate in games and group activities, they can develop stronger relationships with their classmates. Other than that, playing also improves the focus and physical health of a student. Today we have different ways to improve the focus of students for instance, there's a small archery board with small magnetic arrows with it, that can be placed in the classroom for juveniles to play. This not only makes the children focus more but they will also be involved in a healthy competition with their class fellows. Primary schools want to have pin drop silence in classroom which is not an effective way of teaching student. This perspective should be changed and schools should promote healthy environment for students.

I think it is important that children play as well as learn in the primary classroom for their better growth in everything. Teachers should introduce some fun activities which can help students learn faster.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that play improves mental health and focus, the arguments could be extended with more depth. The example of the archery board is specific but feels slightly narrow in the context of primary education. To reach a higher band, ensure that each paragraph provides a more comprehensive exploration of the 'why' and 'how' behind your claims, rather than relying on brief explanations.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'for instance' and 'other than that', to connect your thoughts. However, the use of linking words is sometimes repetitive or slightly mechanical. The transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is functional, but the flow could be improved by using a wider variety of cohesive markers to better signal the relationship between your arguments. Paragraphing is used appropriately, which helps the reader follow your line of reasoning.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using words like 'juveniles', 'traditional', and 'participate'. However, the word 'juveniles' is often used in a legal or formal context and is not the most natural choice for primary school children; 'young learners' or 'pupils' would be more appropriate. There are some instances of slightly awkward phrasing, such as 'pin drop silence' and 'growth in everything'. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and academic vocabulary that fits the context of educational discourse more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'environment of classroom' (missing article) and 'teaching student' (should be plural). You also have some issues with subject-verb agreement and preposition usage. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on proofreading for articles, pluralization, and ensuring that your complex sentences are constructed with greater accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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