Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's world, almost every children have to enroll in schools. Almost, in every school the format of teaching remain same, and they focus more into formal learning. But, now the teaching format need some correction and that is to consider play as an important aspect of child overall development. I believe that, play should also given equal priority as we are giving priority to formal learning.

Overall, school curriculum has many subjects, one by one different teacher is coming and teach their subjects to student. After attending so many classes student feels exhausted and mind need relax. To gain concentration play is having a great role. A study reveals that the children who gives equal time to play as they give time for subject learning scores very good grades.

Furthermore, to incorporate or maintain balance between learning and play a better time-table is needed. Government and education ministry has to assign the revised format and curriculum to the schools. Teacher should learn the methods to relate learning with the games. As, now in the technology advanced era multiple apps and learning site available which are design to make learning fun. These techniques will help student to succeed in learning and improve their interest and scores.

In conclusion, the formal learning becomes very old method of teaching, as we are very advance in terms of technology , a better implementation is require in education format and including play as a part of learning will eradicate many students problem like less concentration and laziness.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention that play helps with concentration and grades, the arguments lack specific examples or deeper analysis. The position is clear, but the supporting points are repetitive and could benefit from more detailed explanation. To reach a higher band, ensure that each paragraph provides a more thorough exploration of the 'why' and 'how' behind your claims, rather than just stating them.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' and 'In conclusion' to link sections. However, the flow within paragraphs is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For instance, the sentence 'After attending so many classes student feels exhausted' lacks proper articles and pluralization, which disrupts the reading flow. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring consistent referencing would strengthen the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is somewhat limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'good grades' and 'very old method'. There are also some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'assign the revised format' or 'technology advanced era', which sound unnatural. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary and collocations. For example, instead of 'very old method', you could use 'outdated pedagogical approach'. Expanding your range of synonyms will help you express your ideas with more sophistication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the essay, particularly regarding subject-verb agreement ('almost every children have to', 'teacher is coming', 'student feels') and article usage. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often marred by errors that occasionally impede clarity. For example, 'play should also given equal priority' is missing the auxiliary verb 'be'. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically pluralization and verb tenses, before attempting more complex structures. Proofreading for these common errors will significantly improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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