Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-27
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It can be seen in our country that private, government both schools they just focus on formal education more and very less focus is given on sports on sports. the just focus on formal learning and exams. In my opinion there should be equal division in both things. as, it can be seen that in foreign counties they have so many sports camps for every age. If we need healthy body and sharp mind we have to maintain balance in our children life. In every school there should be arrangements of the camps for the students. Sports help them to learn thigs more quickly and it builds confidence in children. It helps students to be more fast. it brings tolerance in students. It helps children to have very sharp memory. It helps children to be helpful. As this debate is very common nowadays that the cirriculum should be designed in a way which should be having a very balanced apporach for both sides. In, my opinion sports is as important as the formal learning for every age group so we should as parents also priortize sports and secondly whenever we visit school for parents teacher meeting we should meet sports teacher to ask our kids performance. Government should also take some steps to increase sports and create some good opportunities for students so they can take interest in sports equally as they take interest in studies. This will help society to have positive people in our society. This can also help to end negativity.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding the focus on formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development is limited. The ideas are presented in a list-like fashion (e.g., 'It helps students to be more fast. It brings tolerance... It helps children to have very sharp memory') rather than being fully extended with logical reasoning or specific examples. The position is clear, but the lack of depth in supporting arguments prevents a higher score. To improve, you should focus on developing two or three main points with detailed explanations rather than listing many brief, repetitive benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks a clear paragraph structure, consisting of a single block of text. This makes the progression of ideas difficult to follow. While there are some attempts at cohesive devices (e.g., 'In my opinion', 'As this debate is'), they are often used repetitively or incorrectly. The flow between sentences is disjointed, and the lack of paragraphing is a significant weakness. To improve, you must organize your response into clear paragraphs: an introduction, body paragraphs for each main point, and a conclusion. Using a wider variety of linking words like 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'in contrast' would also improve the logical flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is basic and repetitive. You frequently use simple phrases such as 'it helps' and 'it can be seen'. There are also several instances of word-choice errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'very less focus' instead of 'very little focus' and 'be more fast' instead of 'develop faster'. While the meaning is generally clear, the range of vocabulary is limited and lacks the precision required for higher bands. To improve, try to incorporate more academic collocations and avoid repeating the same sentence starters throughout the essay.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('private, government both schools they just focus'), article usage ('in our children life'), and punctuation. Sentence structures are predominantly simple, and there is a lack of complex sentence forms. While the errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to cause difficulty for the reader. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, such as correct verb tenses and pluralization, before attempting more complex structures. Proofreading for common errors like missing articles and incorrect word order is essential.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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