Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-27
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Primary schools focuses more on formal learning.This essay disagrees with this statement because it is the need of every student to build up their mind and make it sensible and another is that it makes them advance and make it easy for them to study secondary education.But is important for children to play and as well as learn in classroom.
Formal learning is important for students as much as they need. This build up their mind and opens their mind also. They will learn to understand aspects of science and much more about further subjects.This keeps their mind creative and active.For instance, learning about how plants grow in soil and how ecosystem works and then they implement it and works on their own.
Another importance is that it make it easier for them to study in their secondary schools and also helps them in upcoming studies.This make it easier for them. For example, if students focuses on formal learning and manage to study in their initial years of schools, they became responsible and know how to manage their studies.
Beside formal learning, playing and learning is important as formal learning. Because it is significant as food. This plays an notable role in keeping their mind fresh and activate.Rather than making their mind fresh it also develop productivity and creativity in children. It also helps in their personal development and observation skills .
Primary schools focus too much on learning, I disagrees with this. Formal learning is beneficial as it helps to develop their mind and helps in future.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt, but the development is limited. While you state your position, the arguments are repetitive and lack depth. For example, you mention that formal learning 'builds up the mind' multiple times without explaining the specific cognitive or academic benefits in a sophisticated way. The second part of the prompt regarding the importance of play is addressed, but the explanation is brief and relies on vague assertions like 'it is significant as food.' To improve, you should provide more concrete examples or logical explanations for your claims to fully develop your ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or repetitive. For instance, you frequently start sentences with 'This' or 'It also,' which creates a choppy flow. There is a lack of varied linking words to connect ideas between and within paragraphs. While the progression of ideas is generally logical, the transitions are often abrupt, and the concluding paragraph merely repeats the introduction rather than synthesizing the main points of the argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but remains quite basic and repetitive. You rely on simple terms like 'important,' 'make,' and 'mind.' There are also some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'activate' (used as an adjective) and 'upcoming studies.' To reach a higher band, you need to demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary, including less common lexical items and more precise collocations. For example, instead of repeating 'important,' you could use 'essential,' 'pivotal,' or 'fundamental' to add variety and precision to your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Primary schools focuses,' 'students focuses'), missing articles, and punctuation errors. Some sentences are fragmented or lack proper structure, such as 'But is important for children to play and as well as learn in classroom.' While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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