Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Primary schools stared focusing more on formal learning in school curriculum. It includes structural leaning focusing on equal importance on academic learning and physical activities. I deeply agree with this point and will discuss my opinion in forthcoming paragraphs.

Traditional studies used to focus more on academic progress, how well a student can perform in written test and oral examination, and had very small exposure to extra curriculum activities such as sports, singing, art and drawing etc. There were nearly 20% of the curriculum which included these activities. Which helped to develop academic skills but leak with physical fitness and interest apart form studies.

In contrary, today primary school curriculums started prioritizing both academic learning and extra curriculum activities. Such sports activities and yoga/exercise periods could help maintaining physical heath. Exposure to sports and creative field help students to gain knowledge beyond academic and sharpens their adaption ability. Moreover, to judge a students academic ability, schools are now conducting other ways to test student's ability from written tests. It includes, hands-on exercise, assembly and oral test etc.

Balancing both academic and extra-curriculum wisely a student can land into the state where hands-on experience can be helpful to develop concentration and ability to remember things quicky in studies.

To summaries the discussion in my opinion, practically balancing extra-curriculum activities in school help students to develop practical understanding, decision making skills and communication skills to understand and solve real-life problems. To make this possible schools can manage and develop their curriculum by observing children's capability, understanding and adaption capacity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention that play helps with 'physical fitness' and 'adaption ability', these points are not fully explored with specific examples or deep analysis. The position is clear, but the argument lacks the depth required for a higher band. To improve, ensure that each body paragraph provides a concrete example or a more detailed explanation of how these activities specifically benefit a child's development in a primary school setting.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'Moreover' and 'In contrary' (though 'In contrast' would be more accurate). However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as the transition into the fourth paragraph, which feels disconnected from the previous one. Additionally, some sentences are fragmented or lack smooth flow, which affects the overall coherence. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help the ideas connect more naturally.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'curriculum', 'adaption ability', and 'hands-on experience'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'stared focusing' (should be 'started'), 'leak with physical fitness' (incorrect usage), and 'land into the state' (unnatural phrasing). These errors occasionally impede the clarity of your message. To reach a higher band, focus on using collocations correctly and expanding your vocabulary to include more precise academic terminology rather than relying on general or slightly misused phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('schools started' vs 'curriculums started'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward phrasing like 'Which helped to develop academic skills'. Punctuation is generally functional, but there are errors in sentence construction that require the reader to re-read for meaning. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structure and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed with correct grammatical markers to avoid ambiguity.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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