Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given topic highlights a crucial role of a school in a child's life. Although, most of the schools highly focused on acadamics learning and barely add extra currilum activities in their syllabus. I firmly believe sports are equally beneficial in brain developing as studies.

In today's world competetions are growing shiftly, leaving people in dough about job security. Furthermore, to maintain a smooth path for student's career institutions are highly engaged with only career-oriented subjects. Moreover, there are some significant advantage of choosing only strict environment for learning as it fosters less distraction and keep them organised in class. Plays and entertainment resources can break their systematic goals.

Activities such as singing, dancing, games and quiz are paramount for brain developing and critical understanding. Academics alone can makes children mentally exhausted and cause health issues. Despite this, meditation and travelling are the best theraphy for a student as it triggers dopamine and happy hormonal changes in brain and body. Nevertheless, sports are crucial for physically well-being as it regulates the gut health, self defence can favour children to protect themself from eractic abuse and provide comfort zone. Studies alone can lead to detrimental impact on overall body.

In conclusion, both statements are right in their own place but a healthy approach would provide extreme beneficts rather than shapes kids for only one field.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, acknowledging the focus on formal learning and discussing the importance of play. However, the essay is significantly under the 250-word minimum, which limits the depth of development. While you present a clear position, the arguments regarding the benefits of play are somewhat repetitive and lack specific, concrete examples to support your claims. To improve, you should expand on your ideas with more detailed explanations and ensure you meet the word count requirement to allow for a more comprehensive discussion of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices like 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', and 'Nevertheless' to link ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as using 'Despite this' to introduce a new point rather than a contrast. The logical progression between sentences is occasionally hindered by abrupt shifts in topic, particularly in the third paragraph where you move from academic exhaustion to meditation and then to physical well-being. Improving the flow between sentences would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'career-oriented', 'paramount', and 'detrimental'. However, there are several spelling errors ('acadamics', 'currilum', 'competetions', 'eractic', 'beneficts') and word choice issues ('dough' instead of 'doubt', 'theraphy' instead of 'therapy'). These errors are noticeable and occasionally distract the reader. To reach a higher band, you should focus on accuracy in spelling and ensure that your word choices are precise and appropriate for an academic context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('Academics alone can makes children', 'sports are crucial for physically well-being') and incorrect word forms ('brain developing' instead of 'brain development'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the frequency of errors in basic grammar limits the clarity of your writing. Increasing your control over sentence construction and proofreading for basic grammatical slips will help improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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