Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

While it is often argued that primary scholls focus too much on formal learning , others contend that formal learning is very important for childeren , however , I believe a balanced approach is necessary .

From my perspective , primary schools should not only learned formal learning . Consider the their lesssons , they have enough time for play . We should not restrict their play time . We should tell them how they play together and spend time with their friends.

İf we focus too much on formal learning we will not improve their imagination and compliant skills .

İf they do not learn basic skills , it would be a big issue for future.

For instance , they know how they do their work but they could not work with their collages . Furtheremore , they do not care work friends , only focus on their job .

On the other hand , formal informations are significiant for childeren`s education , however , this information supported with educational games . When they only learn academic lessons they get bored easily they do not wnat to listen their teacher . They should understand their lessons but we can not tell anything if they focus too much on formal learning .

Consequently , we can resulve this issue with play . Because childeren`s are pure , sensetive and cute . We should talk their language if we aim to learn academic or formal information , childeren`s should apend time with plays

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is limited and often repetitive. For example, the argument regarding 'imagination and compliant skills' is not clearly explained, and the point about children needing to work with 'collages' (colleagues) is somewhat tangential to a primary school context. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments lack depth and specific, relevant examples, resulting in a superficial treatment of the topic. The conclusion is somewhat disjointed and relies on subjective descriptions of children rather than academic reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression of ideas is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and weak transitions. While some cohesive devices like 'For instance' and 'On the other hand' are used, they are often followed by sentences that do not logically flow from the previous point. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the second paragraph where 'Consider the their lesssons' lacks a clear connection to the preceding sentence. The overall structure is present, but the lack of clear, logical links between sentences makes the argument difficult to follow in places.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with frequent errors in word choice and spelling that occasionally impede communication. Examples include 'scholls' (schools), 'childeren' (children), 'collages' (colleagues), 'resulve' (resolve), and 'apend' (spend). The student struggles to use academic vocabulary effectively, often relying on informal or imprecise language like 'pure, sensetive and cute' to describe children. There is little evidence of less common lexical items or an awareness of collocation, which restricts the ability to convey complex ideas precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ('childeren`s are'), incorrect verb forms ('should not only learned'), and punctuation issues, particularly with the misuse of commas and apostrophes. Sentence structures are generally simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often result in errors that make the meaning unclear, such as 'we can not tell anything if they focus too much on formal learning'. These frequent errors place a significant burden on the reader and demonstrate a lack of control over basic grammatical structures.

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