Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It has been observed that, primary schools focused much on formal learning. Although, some believe that it is good for children's mind development whereas some argues that focusing on only formal learning get child not mentally and physically mature. I agree the given statement to large extent. My inclination is elaborated in ensuring paragraph and relevant examples.

The foremost argument to justify statement that if a individual child get in the mind what the teacher teaches him from book not that sufficient for the kids because it can make the unrequired burden on their mind. For instance, primary school students definitely needs a physical activity to grow up and to being physically more active rather than to just keep learning from books.

Furthermore, the other reason to prove my point is that by playing different types of games a child will able to setup hisar hobby's and built the interest in specific game which help them to practice in right direction for future. Also by playing games and doing activities in school the individual did not get bored by studying books it help them to get rid of burden that they had by reading books and writing wat teacher taught to them.

By concluding that, both the things are important for a primary school child. Reading books give them ideas and many pathways for future when they read about their ideal or any good personality whereas playing games make their mind calm and relaxed which is necessary so that they can take good decision in their life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you state your position clearly in the introduction, the supporting arguments in the body paragraphs are repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the point about 'burden on the mind' is mentioned in both body paragraphs without being fully explored or supported with specific, concrete examples. To reach a higher band, ensure that each paragraph introduces a distinct, well-developed idea that directly answers the 'how' and 'why' of the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression is hindered by awkward phrasing and a lack of sophisticated cohesive devices. While you use transition words like 'Furthermore' and 'By concluding that', the connection between sentences is often mechanical or unclear. For example, the transition between the introduction and the first body paragraph is abrupt. Additionally, referencing is sometimes confusing, such as 'the given statement' or 'the other reason to prove my point', which makes the flow feel slightly disjointed. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words will enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'good', 'important', and 'things', and there are several instances of incorrect word forms or collocations, such as 'setup hisar hobby's' and 'not mentally and physically mature'. These errors occasionally make the meaning slightly opaque. To improve, focus on learning collocations (e.g., 'holistic development' instead of 'mentally and physically mature') and avoid repeating the same words throughout the text. Expanding your vocabulary to include more academic, topic-specific terminology would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there is a high frequency of grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('primary schools focused', 'student definitely needs'), article usage ('the unrequired burden'), and sentence fragments or run-on sentences. For example, 'I agree the given statement to large extent' is missing a preposition. While the meaning is generally clear, the persistent errors in basic grammar prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and ensuring that every sentence has a clear, grammatically correct structure.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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