Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Several individuals argue that primary schools influence more on formal learning. Children are the future of a country. This has become a widely discussed topic in this contemporary society. I believe that focusing on structural education of primary children is essential. The advantages of formal education outweigh the disadvantages. In this essay i will discuss both.
To begin with benefits of organised education institutions. There are numerous benefits however the major one is a child will understand the significance of his actions. for example when a child will see that the consequences of being lazy and not doing his homework on time are going to affect his grade. He will be afraid of getting disrespected in front of his parents eventually he will work diligently. This will make a children independent. He will on his own. That is how formal education is going to assist children.
On the other hand individuals argue that structural education can cause psychological problems. Formal education make children stressed over small thing. They think a lot about their grades. Some individuals are afraid about the mental of their children. They think worrying about studies can cause psychological issues such as anxiety. which will affect the analytical and cognitive abilities of their children but fortunately
there is no evidence that clearly assert this is true.
From my perspective learning in places like these will improve your critical thinking and obviously children will study hard and getting good grades will help them in future. His punctuality will assist him to jump on hard hurdles.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses both parts of the prompt, but the development is uneven. While you clearly state your position in favor of formal education, the second part of the prompt—the importance of play—is largely neglected. You mention that formal education might cause stress, but you do not discuss the role of play or balance in the classroom as requested. The ideas provided are somewhat simplistic, such as the argument that children will be 'afraid of getting disrespected' if they do not do homework. To reach a higher band, you need to provide more nuanced arguments regarding the pedagogical value of play versus formal instruction.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is frequently disrupted by awkward phrasing and abrupt transitions. For example, the transition 'On the other hand individuals argue...' is a bit mechanical. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate, such as the sentence fragment 'which will affect the analytical and cognitive abilities of their children but fortunately there is no evidence...'. The progression of ideas within paragraphs is often disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow your line of reasoning smoothly. More varied linking words and better sentence-to-sentence connection are required.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. You rely on basic terms like 'benefits', 'important', and 'good grades'. There are instances of awkward word choices, such as 'influence more on formal learning' (instead of 'focus more on') and 'jump on hard hurdles' (which is not a standard collocation). You attempt to use some academic vocabulary, but the lack of control over collocations limits your score. To improve, focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary related to education and pedagogy, and ensure that words are used in their correct context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. You frequently make errors with articles ('the mental of their children'), subject-verb agreement ('Formal education make children'), and sentence fragments ('He will on his own'). Punctuation is also problematic, with several run-on sentences and missing commas. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors is high enough to cause some distraction for the reader. You need to focus on basic grammatical accuracy, particularly with verb forms and sentence boundaries, before attempting more complex structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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