Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Some people believe that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal learning. I largely agree with this view because children need enough time to play and develop important social and practical skills.
Formal education is certainly important for young children. At primary school, Students need to develop basic skills such as reading, writing and mathematics. These subject provide a strong foundation for their future education. However. spending to many hours on academic activities can make children feel stressed and reduce their interest in learning. At a young age, children learn more effectively when lessons are enjoyable and interactive rather than based only on textbooks and written exercises.
Play is equally important because it contributes to children's physical, social emotional development. For example, when children play games together, they learn how to communicate, cooperate and solve problem. Outdoor activities also help them remain physically active and develop confidence. In addition, creative activities such as drawing, building and role-playing can encourage imagination and independent thinking.
In my opinion, primary schools should therefore maintain a healthy balance between formal education and play. For instance, teachers could include educational games, group activities and outdoor lessons in the schools timetable. This would allow children to learn academic subjects while also developing essential life skills.
In conclusion, although formal learning is necessary in primary education, I believe that play should receive equal importance because it helps children develop in a more balanced and enjoyable way. This approach can prepare children for both academic success and everyday life.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
You have addressed all parts of the prompt effectively. You clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain it throughout the essay. Both aspects of the prompt—the extent of your agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play—are well-developed with relevant supporting arguments. You provide concrete examples, such as 'communicating, cooperating and solving problems' in the context of play, which adds depth to your response. The ideas are logically extended, and the conclusion provides a clear summary of your stance. To reach a higher band, you could further elaborate on the potential long-term consequences of an over-emphasis on formal learning to add more analytical depth.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central theme, and you use cohesive devices such as 'However', 'For example', 'In addition', and 'In conclusion' to link your thoughts effectively. The paragraphing is appropriate, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. While the flow is generally smooth, some transitions could be more sophisticated to avoid a slightly mechanical feel. For instance, the link between the second and third paragraphs could be strengthened to better show the contrast between formal learning and play. Overall, the structure is clear and easy to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with precision. Phrases like 'place too much emphasis', 'strong foundation', and 'essential life skills' are used accurately. You attempt some less common collocations, which is positive. However, there are minor errors, such as 'solve problem' (should be 'solve problems') and 'to many' (should be 'too many'). While these do not impede communication, they prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. To improve, focus on using more varied academic vocabulary and ensuring consistent accuracy in pluralization and word choice.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. Most of your sentences are clear and error-free. However, there are some punctuation and grammatical slips, such as the sentence fragment 'However. spending to many hours...' where a period was used incorrectly instead of a comma. Additionally, there are minor errors like 'Students' (unnecessary capitalization) and 'social emotional development' (missing a conjunction). Despite these, your control of grammar is generally good, and the meaning is never obscured. Increasing the variety of complex structures, such as using more conditional or passive forms, would further enhance your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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