Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Most of the schools have the regulation, that children's should obey and maintain the disciple in the school surrounding. On other hand children should play and participate in other curriculum activities rather than just doing studies at school.
In my `opinion, although their should be disciple and regulation in primary schools, and teach some formal learning rather than just informal learning to the students. For example students and teachers don't have proper learning and direction through out their academic, so management should provide workshops and lectures related to formal learning.
On the other hand, primary schools subsequently support child in indoor and outdoor activities but also focus on studies. Because through out student can make their own career in the sport field. For example Sachin tendulkar is great indian cricketer who make debut for india while, he was 16 year old school management and parent's supported him all along the career with studies. But later on he dropout and fully focused on making cricket career on to the good track. After retried from cricket he taken admission at london schools and completed his education in Bachelor sport management in year 2016.
So while playing in ground, most important part play in life is education which also matter in life.
in conclusion, education is mandortory as well as formal learning with other curriculum activites. Formal learning is way to teach students to learn everthing in life with proper manner in right direction
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which negatively impacts the task achievement score. While the essay attempts to address both parts of the prompt—the balance of formal learning and the importance of play—the ideas are under-developed and lack depth. The argument is somewhat disjointed, and the example of Sachin Tendulkar is not fully integrated to support the thesis effectively. The position is present but lacks the clarity and consistent development required for a higher band. To improve, ensure you expand on your points with more logical reasoning and ensure the essay reaches the required length.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is often interrupted by unclear transitions and awkward phrasing. While some cohesive devices are used (e.g., 'On the other hand', 'In conclusion'), they are sometimes used incorrectly or do not effectively link the ideas. The progression of arguments is difficult to follow at times, particularly in the second paragraph where the transition between formal learning and the example of a cricketer is abrupt. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. There are several instances of word-choice errors and non-standard collocations, such as 'maintain the disciple' (discipline) and 'mandortory' (mandatory). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas with precision. To reach a higher band, you should focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary related to education and child development, and practice using these words in context. Additionally, pay closer attention to spelling, as errors like 'everthing' and 'retried' (retired) detract from the overall quality of the response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'children's should obey'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or lack the necessary complexity to demonstrate a wide range of structures. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma placement. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree, and practicing the correct use of articles and prepositions. Reducing the number of simple, error-prone sentences will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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