Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people believe that elementary school aims on formal learning rather than focusing on some of the physical activities. I agree with this statement because at an early age the body of children tends to develop, if guided in a right way of having physical activities such as sports and yoga with education helps them to develop their overall body growth.

To begin with, it is equally important for infants to focus on education as well as in sports. In many pre-primary and primary school, they usually focus on formal learning such as traditional teaching and usual examination without any exposure towards any outdoor activities tends to restrict their body growth. for example, obesity is the major problem in small children due to no physical activities along with improper consumption of food.

Moreover, schools can introduce quiz, sports activities or competition that can alter children brain and improve their mental as well as physical health. For example, teaching pupil karate helps them to excel in their physical growth by learning self-defense techniques.

In my opinion, teaching students co-curricular activities along with studies can improve their overall health that is because, their body tends to develop in their early stage of life so it is important for school to make sure they introduce such activities in their curriculum.

In conclusion, schools should change their way of teaching students, they should focus on introducing new methods of learning, which can involve overall development of children, rather than following same old traditional method of learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention obesity and physical growth, the arguments could be more thoroughly extended with more specific examples or deeper analysis. The position is clear throughout, but the essay lacks a sophisticated exploration of the balance between academic rigour and play. To improve, ensure that each body paragraph provides a more detailed explanation of how the proposed activities specifically benefit the learning process, rather than just focusing on physical health.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' to signal the progression of your argument. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel repetitive. For example, the link between the introduction and the first body paragraph could be smoother. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensure that referencing (e.g., 'such activities') is always precise and clear to the reader.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some relevant topic-specific terms like 'co-curricular activities', 'self-defense', and 'formal learning'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'aims on' instead of 'focuses on' and 'alter children brain' instead of 'stimulate children's brains'. The range of vocabulary is somewhat narrow, relying on simple descriptors. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing to demonstrate a more flexible command of the language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'schools... usually focus... without any exposure... tends to restrict') and article usage. Some sentences are slightly awkward, such as 'if guided in a right way of having physical activities... helps them'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do occur regularly. To achieve a higher score, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and attempt to use a wider variety of complex sentence forms with greater precision.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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