Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Nowadays, mankind is concern about advancement or improvement in every possible field i.e. whether it is health care, industry and even education. Talking about education, many find the running system old and inappropriate as primary school concentrates too much in formal learning. I completely agree with the thought that, it is very important for children to play and learn at the school classroom and the reasons are discussed further in the essay.
Firstly, primary schools offer formal learning i.e. they need to follow old fashion or outdated structured and planned syllabus, only classroom learning, no fun activities, strict rules, etc. which will limit the students to learn and explore new things and can affect one's creativity too. In addition to this, some may find this form of learning hard to not suitable which will reduce their confidence at an early stage of life. To exemplify, one of my friend finds talking or interacting with teachers and strangers difficult as he used to get scold for his behaviour in his primary school.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 171 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you state your position clearly in the introduction, the body paragraphs are underdeveloped. You mention that formal learning limits creativity and reduces confidence, but these points are not sufficiently expanded upon or supported with robust examples. The second part of the prompt—the importance of play—is barely addressed beyond a brief mention. To improve, you must ensure each point is fully explored with detailed explanations and relevant examples to meet the length requirement and provide a comprehensive response to all parts of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into an introduction and one body paragraph, but the lack of a conclusion and the brevity of the text hinder the overall flow. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Firstly' and 'In addition to this', which help to signal the structure. However, the progression of ideas is limited by the incomplete nature of the essay. Paragraphing is present, but the single body paragraph is insufficient to develop the argument logically. To achieve a higher score, ensure you have a clear introduction, at least two well-developed body paragraphs, and a concluding summary, using a wider variety of linking words to connect your ideas more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You use some basic collocations like 'formal learning' and 'structured and planned syllabus', but there are instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'mankind is concern' (should be 'concerned') and 'hard to not suitable'. The vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and lacks the sophistication needed to express complex ideas effectively. To improve, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and pay closer attention to word forms and collocations. Avoid informal phrasing and ensure your word choices are accurate in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'primary school concentrates too much in formal learning' (should be 'on'), 'one of my friend finds' (should be 'friends'), and 'he used to get scold' (should be 'scolded'). These errors in subject-verb agreement, preposition usage, and verb forms are noticeable. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors. Increasing the variety of complex structures while maintaining accuracy will help you reach a higher band score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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