Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-31
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
I agree with this view,Because too much focus on formal learning can put a stress on young children, while play is very essential for overall development.
To commence with,firstly too much formal learning can put a excessive academic pressure on children. secondly,it reduce interest and motivation.third, long hours of study create disturbance in children mind. they feel always exhausted and tiredness due to the too much focus on formal learning. therefore, heavy academic workload can causes stress and anxiety.it can limit their creativity and social development.For example too much formal learning can put stress on young children. on the other hand, play is very essential for children overall development.play improve physical health of children. it develop team work and communication skills.sometime indoor gamse boost the iQ level of children and it help to improve to problem solving skills.play build confidence, furthermore, playing games makes study more enjoyable.
For instance, team games can teach young children how to cooperate communicate and solve problem togather.
conclusion,although, too much formal learning can put stress on young children and play is very essential for overall development.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt by expressing a clear position and discussing the importance of play. However, the essay is significantly under the 250-word minimum requirement, which severely limits the depth of the argument. Ideas are presented in a list-like fashion rather than being fully developed with detailed examples or logical extensions. The conclusion is also incomplete and lacks a summary of the main points. Because the response is only 182 words, it fails to meet the basic task requirements, resulting in a lower score for task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks proper paragraphing, which is essential for a clear structure. While there is an attempt to use cohesive devices like 'To commence with', 'secondly', and 'furthermore', these are often used mechanically or incorrectly. The progression of ideas is disjointed, and the lack of a clear introduction and a fully formed conclusion makes the overall flow difficult to follow. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the transition between the two main points is abrupt. Improved paragraphing and more sophisticated linking words would significantly enhance the coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, often relying on simple terms like 'good', 'important', or 'stress'. There are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'create disturbance in children mind' and 'tiredness due to the too much focus'. While the meaning is generally clear, the range of vocabulary is limited and does not demonstrate the flexibility required for higher bands. To improve, you should focus on using more precise academic collocations and synonyms to avoid repeating the same words throughout the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('it reduce', 'workload can causes'), article usage, and punctuation. Sentence structures are predominantly simple, with limited attempts at complex sentences. When complex structures are attempted, they often contain errors, such as 'although, too much formal learning can put stress on young children and play is very essential'. The lack of control over basic grammar and the high frequency of errors impede the flow of the writing and suggest a need for a stronger grasp of fundamental sentence construction.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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