Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Many people argued that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. I firmly disagree with this view. it is really essential for students to participate in extra curriculum as well as learn their academic performance.

On the one hand, most parents want that their children should engage in study rather than other activities. Many junior school has priority of formal learning. I completely disagree with this statement. There are several reason against that view. The major reason is student can gain their knowledge from other activities . such as playing football, volleyball , dance, as so on. For instance, Many primary students play games that helps student to know about games. Consequently, they can courage their knowledge.

Another reason is that They feel more active and energetic. Many students feel bore after repeating same activity, such as study. So, they should involve in other fun activity that can be more beneficial for children. As a result, they find it extremely advantageous and can more concentrate on their study.

On the another hand, play games as well as learning is really essential for youngster. These both thing is branch of a tree. moreover, primary school can produce numerous intelligent student by the encouraging extra activities with formal classes. One main benefit is that student gain their knowledges with confidence. For example many student lose their confident after engaging on a same thing. So, take a part in different activities is vital for students.

To conclude, although formal learning is important for students and their future, other activities as well as study is more essential in the primary school room.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, expressing a clear position against the idea that schools focus too much on formal learning and arguing for the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is limited. For example, the argument that playing games helps students 'know about games' is circular and lacks depth. The points regarding energy and confidence are relevant but are not fully extended with specific, convincing examples. The essay tends to over-generalise, and the reasoning remains somewhat superficial throughout. To reach a higher band, you should provide more concrete, logical explanations for your claims rather than repeating the same general points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is often disjointed. While some cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the one hand' and 'Consequently', they are sometimes used incorrectly or mechanically. For instance, the transition 'These both thing is branch of a tree' is confusing and does not effectively link the previous paragraph to the next. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the internal structure of paragraphs lacks a logical flow, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument's development. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. There is frequent repetition of basic words like 'study', 'activities', and 'students'. Some word choices are unnatural or incorrect, such as 'courage their knowledge' (likely meaning 'encourage' or 'broaden') and 'feel bore' (should be 'bored'). The use of 'knowledges' is also grammatically incorrect as knowledge is an uncountable noun. To improve, you should focus on using more varied vocabulary and ensuring that words are used in the correct context and form.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('Many junior school has', 'These both thing is'), article usage ('the' missing before 'formal learning'), and pluralisation ('knowledges'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with spaces missing before commas and periods. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. You should focus on proofreading your work to correct these fundamental errors in tense, agreement, and word form.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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