Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-31
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Some people believe that primary schools works too much on formal learning and they learn play less games in a classroom . I will explain my opinion below with some example and reasons
First of all, Learning is very important for children to make them good citizen.So in primary schools learning in formal way is very convenient for students of elementary 1. because it is a period of child brain storming.
In today's world, learning new skills such as computer and other technologies are very necessary for a person's life. without learning such things a man can never able to earn his livelihood. As a initial development it is crucial for children.
Formal learning play an important. So learn formal things in classroom is very important for behaviour. because a student spend a big part of a day at school in his or her class room so he or she reacts just like that which they learn in their classrooms like they learn manners
They learn how to react ,how to talk, how to eat, and also how to get permission from elder person thats the reason behind it ,why focus too much on formal things
from my prospective, there is nothing wrong to focus too much on formal learning when we can clearly see ,the advantages of learning this type of knowledge.
Conclusion is that, playing games and learning formal things both are important for the better development of students. It affects their brains in a positive way. and made their body very strong.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt, but the development is limited. While you state your position that formal learning is beneficial, the arguments are repetitive and lack depth. For example, you mention 'manners' and 'how to eat' as formal learning, which is a somewhat narrow interpretation. The second part of the prompt—the importance of play—is only briefly mentioned in the conclusion rather than being integrated into the body paragraphs. To improve, you should dedicate a full paragraph to the benefits of play, providing specific examples such as social skill development or creativity, rather than just stating it is 'important'.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For instance, the transition 'So in primary schools...' at the start of a sentence and the repetitive use of 'because' to link ideas make the flow feel disjointed. Some sentences, such as 'Formal learning play an important', lack clear logical connection to the preceding paragraph. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'in contrast') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally basic and repetitive. You frequently use simple words like 'important', 'good', and 'things'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'child brain storming' (which is not the correct term for cognitive development) and 'a man can never able to earn'. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of precision and the reliance on a narrow range of vocabulary prevent a higher score. Incorporating more academic collocations and precise terminology related to education would significantly improve your lexical range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede readability. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('primary schools works', 'Formal learning play'), article usage ('a initial development'), and sentence structure ('a man can never able to earn'). You rely heavily on simple sentence structures, and attempts at more complex sentences often contain errors. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and the correct use of modal verbs. Proofreading for small errors like missing 's' on plurals or incorrect verb forms will help you move up the band scale.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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