Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the contemporary, due to advancement in technologies student easily addicted with smart phone and other things. On that note, numerous individuals argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. I agree with this notation without any culms and the reasons for the same have been discussed further.

There are many reasons why primary schools focus too much on formal learning. To begin with, nowadays schools want fame and great reputation therefore they give too much burden on students to get good marks. Moreover, schools thinks that if students can get formal education which are beneficial for them in future which will help them for better course and college.

Furthermore, due to advancement in technology students need to learn new things in day to day life so schools teach them formal learning as well as daily life tasks so students get knowledge of new innovation. In addition to this, schools believe that only formal learning is important because it will give them diversity too choose their career options. For example, if primary student gets good marks in math, science and languages then they can choose career like business or arts in the high school. Thus, these are the reasons why primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To conclude, even though focus too much on formal learning may make students feel stressed or depressed, I still believe that schools give too much focus on formal learning due to reasons like, for their reputation, for students better future, due to day to day technolization and get good range of diversity to choose future career.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, but the development of ideas is limited. While you state your agreement with the opinion that schools focus too much on formal learning, the explanation for why this is the case is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. For instance, the argument regarding 'fame and reputation' is mentioned but not fully explored. Furthermore, the second part of the prompt—the importance of play—is largely neglected. You mention that play might make students feel 'stressed or depressed' in the conclusion, but this is not developed into a coherent argument about the value of play in the classroom. To improve, ensure each part of the question is given a dedicated paragraph with clear, logical support.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To begin with,' 'Moreover,' and 'In addition to this' to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, and the logical flow between sentences is occasionally hindered by grammatical errors. For example, the transition between the discussion of technology and the importance of formal learning is not entirely clear. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices more naturally and ensure that each sentence logically follows the previous one to create a smoother, more sophisticated argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on basic phrasing such as 'get good marks' and 'new things.' There are also some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'without any culms' (likely a misspelling or misuse) and 'day to day technolization,' which is not standard English. To improve, try to incorporate more academic vocabulary and precise collocations. For example, instead of 'get good marks,' use 'achieve high academic results,' and instead of 'technolization,' use 'technological advancement.' Expanding your range of topic-specific vocabulary will significantly enhance your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'schools thinks'), article usage (e.g., 'in the contemporary'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'student easily addicted with smart phone'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are errors in sentence construction that make some parts difficult to read. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence patterns and proofreading for common errors like pluralization and verb tense consistency. Increasing the variety of complex structures, such as using conditional sentences or relative clauses, will also help improve your range.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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