Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often believed that primary schools focus too much on structured education. I completely agree with this statement beacuse formal learning provides students with a structured environment where they can develop knowledge and skills under the guidance of qualified teachers and also that's how they build confidence in them.

It is often argued that primary schools focus too much on structured education. While I acknowledge that by imposing strict rules on children in their primary grades may effect their moral and confidence, I largely agree with this opinion beacuse formal learning provides students with a structured environment where they can develop knowledge and skills under the guidance of qualified teachers and also that's how they build confidence in them.

The primary reason why I agree with this view is that by focusing on traditional education will make the students able to compete with each other and they want success in their lives. This is because the classroom method of learning make them able to build confidence and moral. For example, if a student who is in grade 3 or 4, and is praised by their teachers in front of whole class for their hard work, then he will do more hard work and get higher marks. Therefore, it is evident that by getting much appreciation from the children make them competetive.

Another significant reason is that formal learning provides students with a structured environment where they can develop knowledge and skills under the guidance of qualified teachers can make them confident in front of others. And i think it is much significant for them to play as well as learn in the primary school education because play with others can make them mentally happy and stressless from their study routines

In conclusion, although formal learning can make them bound also may have some merits.Therefore, I largely agree with the given statement.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, but the development is inconsistent. While you state your position clearly, the arguments are repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the point about 'formal learning' is restated in almost identical terms in the introduction and the second body paragraph. The explanation of why play is important is also quite brief and lacks specific examples or a deeper exploration of the benefits of play for child development. To improve, ensure each paragraph introduces a distinct, well-supported idea rather than repeating the same concepts.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay has a basic structure, but the progression of ideas is hindered by repetition and mechanical transitions. The introduction is particularly problematic as it repeats the first paragraph almost entirely, which disrupts the flow. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'The primary reason' and 'Another significant reason', but they are sometimes used with grammatical errors (e.g., 'by focusing on traditional education will make...'). Paragraphing is present, but the conclusion is very weak and does not effectively synthesize the arguments presented in the body paragraphs.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. You rely on basic terms like 'good', 'hard work', and 'happy'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'stressless from their study routines' and 'make them competetive'. Spelling errors like 'beacuse' and 'competetive' occur. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more sophisticated vocabulary related to education and child development, and ensure that words are used in their correct collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'getting much appreciation from the children make them'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'by imposing strict rules... may effect their moral'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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