Band 8.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 8.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 8.5)

It is often argued that primary schools place disproportionate emphasis on formal academic instruction, leaving insufficient room for children to engage in play. I strongly agree with this view, as an excessive focus on conventional learning can undermine children's cognitive, social and emotional development. In my opinion, play should be regarded as an integral component of primary education rather than merely a recreational activity.

One compelling reason for reducing the emphasis on formal learning is that young children are not naturally suited to prolonged periods of passive instruction. Requiring them to spend hours memorising facts, completing worksheets and preparing for examinations can gradually diminish their enthusiasm for learning. More importantly, education at this formative stage should foster curiosity and independent thinking rather than encourage children to learn information mechanically. For instance, a child may develop a much deeper understanding of basic mathematics by manipulating objects, participating in educational games or solving practical problems than by repeatedly completing exercises in a textbook.

Play is equally valuable because it facilitates a wide range of developmental benefits that conventional classroom instruction cannot always provide. Through cooperative games, children learn to communicate effectively, negotiate with their peers, resolve conflicts and appreciate different perspectives. Physical activities, meanwhile, promote coordination, fitness and healthy habits, while imaginative play stimulates creativity and problem-solving skills. For example, when children participate in a team-based game, they must simultaneously follow rules, communicate with others and make decisions under pressure. Such experiences cultivate interpersonal skills that are likely to remain valuable throughout their academic and professional lives.

Nevertheless, formal education should not be dismissed altogether. Primary schools have a fundamental responsibility to equip children with essential literacy, numeracy and linguistic skills, which form the foundation of subsequent education. The most effective solution, therefore, is not to replace academic instruction with play, but to integrate the two. Teachers could incorporate role-playing into language lessons, educational competitions into mathematics classes and outdoor experiments into science education. Such an approach would enable children to acquire academic knowledge while remaining actively engaged in the learning process.

In conclusion, I strongly agree that primary schools can devote excessive attention to formal learning. Although academic instruction is indispensable, play is equally consequential for children's holistic development. A balanced educational framework, in which structured learning and purposeful play complement one another, would provide children with a far more comprehensive foundation for their future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 8.5

The response fully addresses all parts of the prompt. You clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain it throughout the essay. Both aspects of the prompt—the extent of agreement regarding the focus on formal learning and the importance of play—are well-developed with relevant examples, such as the comparison between textbook exercises and hands-on mathematical problem-solving. The ideas are extended logically, and the conclusion effectively synthesises your arguments. The balance between acknowledging the necessity of formal education and advocating for play demonstrates a sophisticated, nuanced approach to the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 8.5

The essay is exceptionally well-structured. Each paragraph has a clear central topic, and the progression of ideas is logical and easy to follow. You use a wide range of cohesive devices, such as 'More importantly', 'Meanwhile', and 'Nevertheless', which connect sentences and paragraphs seamlessly. The use of referencing is precise, and the paragraphing is used effectively to separate the different stages of your argument. There is no evidence of mechanical or repetitive usage; the flow of the text is natural and professional throughout.

Lexical Resource — Band 8.5

You demonstrate a wide and sophisticated range of vocabulary used with high precision. Phrases such as 'disproportionate emphasis', 'formative stage', 'holistic development', and 'indispensable' show a strong command of academic English. Collocations are natural and accurate throughout the text. There are no errors in word choice or spelling, and the vocabulary is consistently appropriate for the formal tone required in an IELTS Academic Task 2 essay. The language is fluent and flexible, allowing for the clear expression of complex ideas.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 8.5

The essay displays a wide range of complex grammatical structures, including conditional sentences, participial phrases, and varied clause structures. The control over grammar and punctuation is excellent, with virtually no errors present. Your sentences are consistently error-free, and the variety of structures used contributes to the overall readability and sophistication of the response. The accuracy is maintained even when dealing with complex arguments, demonstrating a high level of proficiency that is consistent with the highest band descriptors.

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