Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-31
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Some people argue that primary schools should devote more time to formal learning. I partly agree with this statement that it is essential for children to play as well as learn because it help to develop the social interaction and strict routines like discipline, aid.
The primary factor is to develop the social interactions. It is more more important for kids to play as well as learn because they will know how to fight and learn skills to deal with problems. In primary schools, most of the time learners were learning formal education like math, science, reading, and writing, etc. But, they are weak in physically. For example, if primary schools provide children to play as well as learn then they learn will formal learning and develop abilities to face with social issues.
The another factor is strict routine, they can learn from primary schools like discipline, aid and responsibility while they play as well as learn. It helps them to be aid and discipline which is more essential for all the human beings. From primary level, it is good to allow kids to play and learn in the classroom. For instance, nowadays this era is more competitive, and it is important for children to do physical activities as well as lean from primary level because it help them to mental breaks which make them more concentrate in the studies and other events.
In conclusion, I believe that focusing too much on formal learning is not a good idea but to play games and learn help kids to develop their abilities.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is limited. The arguments regarding social interaction and discipline are repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the claim that children 'know how to fight' is vague and not clearly linked to the benefits of play. The position is clear, but the supporting points are under-developed, often relying on circular reasoning rather than concrete examples or logical progression. To improve, you should focus on expanding your points with specific, illustrative examples that clearly connect play to academic or personal development.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is often disjointed. While you use some cohesive devices like 'For instance' and 'In conclusion', their usage is sometimes mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'The another factor'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult to follow the logical flow between sentences. The transition between the idea of 'social interaction' and 'strict routine' is abrupt. To achieve a higher band, focus on using a wider range of linking words more naturally and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through your argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There is significant repetition of phrases like 'play as well as learn' and 'formal learning'. Some word choices are awkward or incorrect, such as 'they are weak in physically' (should be 'physically weak') and 'it help them to mental breaks' (should be 'it helps them take mental breaks'). The use of 'aid' as a noun for discipline is also confusing. To improve, try to incorporate more varied synonyms and focus on correct collocations to express your ideas more naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('it help', 'it help them to mental breaks'), missing articles, and awkward phrasing ('if primary schools provide children to play'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence construction often feels repetitive. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and sentence structure. Aim to vary your sentence length and complexity, ensuring that you proofread carefully to catch minor errors that detract from the overall quality of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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