Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is argued that primary schools focus too much on formal learning where playing is also crucial for overall development of the child. I firmly believe that primary schools must focus on

sports along with learning.

On the one hand, primary schools stressing on formal learning helps the pupil to develop knowledge which is significantly important in their age. But focusing solely on formal learning negatively impacts the child's overall wellbeing. They gain the necessary knowledge at a very young age and may lack focus on education. For instance, a child learning from their childhood will benefit them but impacts their mental health.

On the other hand, children playing and learning in the school classroom builds cognitive skills required for the pupil. Sports help in team-bonding and social skills needed for the child to develop psychologically strong. They can concentrate on their subject efficiently in contrast to the ones who only focus on studying rather than playing. Sports connect the students with their fellow classmates and build a strong team. For example, pupils who play and learn can concentrate on their studies at a high rate that those who only focus on formal learning.

Most of the famous sportsmen developed the ability to play since their childhood. Motivating students at a young age helps them to find their strengths in respect to sports.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that formal learning helps the students in gaining knowledge which is extremely necessary. Furthermore, playing along with studies help them to grow psychologically.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, the argument that learning from childhood 'impacts their mental health' is asserted but not clearly explained or supported with specific evidence. Similarly, the point about 'famous sportsmen' is a bit disconnected from the primary school context. While a clear position is maintained throughout, the supporting arguments lack depth and specific examples, which prevents the response from reaching a higher band. To improve, you should focus on providing more detailed explanations and concrete, relevant examples for each point made.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' to signal the structure. However, the internal cohesion within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical. For instance, the transition between the benefits of sports and the mention of 'famous sportsmen' feels abrupt. Additionally, some referencing is slightly unclear, such as the use of 'they' in the second paragraph, which could refer to either the children or the schools. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some relevant topic-specific terms like 'cognitive skills', 'team-bonding', and 'psychologically strong'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of awkward phrasing or imprecise word choices, such as 'concentrate on their studies at a high rate' instead of 'at a higher level' or 'more effectively'. There is also some repetition of basic words like 'focus', 'learning', and 'child'. To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more varied synonyms and more sophisticated collocations to express your ideas with greater precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. For example, 'primary schools stressing on formal learning helps' should be 'primary schools' stress on...' or 'the focus on...'. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and preposition usage, such as 'in respect to sports' (should be 'with respect to') and 'at a high rate that those' (should be 'than those'). While these errors do not impede overall communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher band score. Focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and correct prepositional phrases.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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