Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-31
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Many individuals consider that primary schools are focused too much on formal learning. I totally agree with this idea.
On the one hand, children going to at primary school when they reach age of 6. In this age, most of the children are naughty and more energetic. they have enormous desire for playing games such as soccer and volleyball, however when they are starting their school years, everything for them is difficult due to the fact that they are used to have less free time and start studying. For instance, teachers give them formal instruction such as reading books, learn about history and do homework ordinarily. Mostly they also need to wear an uniform. At this time, they think that their life is being difficult or have not individual goals. It is very important that teachers learned step by step to understand easily. Its more preferable for students to have some playtime and gaining new things by playing. It helps them to feel more comfortable and relaxed, which is significant for their brain.
On the other hand, it is also crucial that primary schools be focused on formal learning. children since young ages started learning about lifestyles such as how to protect environment, learn their ancient heritage and history. For example, they learn about society and become part of them. they are learning about responsibilities and become independent persons from the very young age.
In overall, nowadays primary schools depends on too much on formal education. I consider that it is not excellent way for children in this age. In my opinion, at this years children are more energetic and confident, although this addiction will be harder for them. they need some playtime and It will be brilliant way, If teachers can get them education with playing games such as handball.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you express a clear position, the supporting arguments, such as the mention of 'soccer and volleyball' or 'handball', are a bit simplistic. To achieve a higher band, you should expand on the pedagogical benefits of play versus the necessity of formal structure with more nuanced reasoning. The conclusion is clear, but the overall argument lacks depth in its analysis of how these two elements can be balanced in a modern curriculum.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use basic cohesive devices like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to signal shifts in perspective. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where referencing is unclear, such as 'this addiction' in the final paragraph, which does not clearly refer back to a previous concept. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer to their antecedents would enhance the logical progression of your ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to communicate your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'formal instruction' and 'independent persons'. However, there is a reliance on basic vocabulary, and some word choices are imprecise or unnatural, such as 'naughty and more energetic' or 'not excellent way'. There are also minor errors in collocation, such as 'get them education'. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and synonyms to avoid repetition and elevate the tone of your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow, such as 'children going to at primary school', 'teachers learned step by step', and 'at this years'. Punctuation and capitalization errors, such as starting sentences with lowercase letters ('they have', 'children since'), are also present. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage will significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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