Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

I believe that primary schools assign greater concentration on formal learning than allowing children to play in the classroom as many people argue. However, it is very crucial to let children play in as much as they are learning while in school because all works, and no play makes children to be dull.

Firstly, primary schools are known for their stricter rules. It is believed to be a place where children are groomed for the next stage in their education cycle. As a result, most primary schools prohibit playing in their schools, only giving their full attention to make sure that these children are trained to be knowledge wise instead of giving them sometime in the learning period to stretch their hands and legs as one of the aspects involved in play activities. They assume if children are allowed to indulge in play, they are likely to forget all that they are taught. Therefore, this leads to the school management restricting any activity in the school that will make children involve themselves in play.

Furthermore, it is certain that children retain more of what they are taught when they don’t involve themselves in extracurricular activities. However, depriving children of activities that can help and boost their mental health when not at study can be very detrimental to the child. Like people say, all works and no play makes jack a dull boy, that would definitely be the state of the child. It will reap the child of joy of engaging in other activities, and the child will be subjected to not knowing other things apart from the books they study

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development is somewhat uneven. While you clearly state your position, the arguments in the second and third paragraphs are repetitive and lack specific examples to illustrate your points. For instance, you mention that schools prohibit play, but you do not provide a concrete example of how a balanced curriculum might look. To reach a higher band, ensure that each paragraph introduces a distinct, well-supported idea rather than restating the same premise in different words.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and you use basic cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Furthermore', and 'However' to link your ideas. However, the progression of ideas within the paragraphs is sometimes circular. For example, the third paragraph repeats the sentiment of the second rather than advancing the argument. Additionally, some referencing is slightly unclear, such as 'that would definitely be the state of the child', which lacks a strong antecedent. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring each sentence builds upon the previous one will enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'extracurricular activities', 'detrimental', and 'prohibit'. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'assign greater concentration on' (should be 'place greater emphasis on') and 'knowledge wise' (which is non-standard). The phrase 'reap the child of joy' is also incorrect; 'deprive' would be the appropriate verb here. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and ensuring that your word choices are natural and precise in an academic context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'makes children to be dull' (should be 'makes children dull') and 'sometime' (should be 'some time'). There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and preposition usage, such as 'in as much as they are learning'. While these errors do not impede overall communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic verb patterns and article usage would be highly beneficial.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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