Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

What we’ve seen in the recents years that primary schools are focusing too much on formal learning and that’s why children are not happy with this.

In my view i consider to them to equals between learning and playing due to make the children excited for the school and does not feel boring.

For instance when i was in primary school my teacher gave to us a lot of homeworks and he was focusing only on learning and stuff like this everyone in the class was mad about it because he does not give us break for talking or playing so that’s why we should make the learning fifty fifty with the playing to make the children very excited for school. We should give to them a break of 30min in each day so they can play or relax from the learning so i think that will help the children a lot for progressing in their levels at school.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 159 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you address both parts of the prompt—expressing an opinion on formal learning and discussing the importance of play—the arguments are underdeveloped and lack sufficient detail or examples. The response reads more like a brief personal anecdote than a structured academic essay. To improve, you must expand your points with more depth, provide clear topic sentences, and ensure you meet the length requirement to allow for a full exploration of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The essay lacks a clear structure. It is written as a single block of text rather than using paragraphs to separate the introduction, body, and conclusion. Cohesive devices are either missing or used incorrectly, such as the repetitive use of 'so that’s why' and 'and'. The progression of ideas is disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow your argument. To improve, you should organize your response into distinct paragraphs and use a wider variety of linking words, such as 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'in addition', to connect your ideas more logically.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is very basic and repetitive, relying on simple words like 'learning', 'playing', 'school', and 'stuff'. There is little evidence of the range required for higher bands. Phrases like 'stuff like this' are too informal for an academic task. Additionally, there are errors in word choice, such as 'homeworks' (homework is an uncountable noun) and 'fifty fifty', which is an informal idiom. To improve, focus on learning academic collocations and synonyms to express your ideas more precisely and formally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Examples include 'What we’ve seen in the recents years that...', 'i consider to them to equals', and 'he does not give us break'. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the control over basic grammar, such as subject-verb agreement and article usage, is inconsistent. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, punctuation, and the correct use of verb tenses before attempting more complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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