Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. For me most of the schools follow this pattern both sides have their relevant arguments but I think their disadvantages outweigh their advantages.

Initially, school focuses on formal education because they want their academic excellence for their academic excellence they said them tp spend most of the time on learning and they do not allow them to do any other activity. For example if a boy is learning all the time his grades must be good as compare to the boy who spend his most of the time in playing.

Furthermore, I observe the student who balance both things fixed a time for learning and studies and also give some time to playing their favorite game and these students get higher grades than the students who sped their all time on just learning because I think all time spending on one activity is not good for their mental and physical health because I think for getting higher or good grades they need to be mentally fit to perform good in their exams. As a result students who manage both things are able to get good marks because of their good mental health and for god mental health outdoor activities are important.

In conclusion, both studies and outdoor games have their own importance so school needs to provide equal time for both studies and for playing games as well. they had to organize different seminars dedicated to games as they organize for studies.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. The argument relies on personal observation rather than broader educational principles, which limits the sophistication of the response. While a position is clear, the supporting ideas are not fully extended, and the reasoning regarding the link between play and academic performance is simplistic. To improve, you should provide more concrete examples or evidence to support your claims, ensuring that each paragraph contributes a distinct, well-reasoned point to the overall argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is hindered by repetitive phrasing and a lack of varied cohesive devices. Transitions like 'Initially' and 'Furthermore' are used, but the internal flow within paragraphs is often disjointed. For instance, the second paragraph struggles with run-on sentences and unclear referencing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument's development. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'furthermore') and ensure that each sentence logically follows the previous one without unnecessary repetition of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but remains quite basic and repetitive. Phrases like 'good marks', 'good mental health', and 'do some other activity' are used frequently, which limits the range. There are also minor errors in word choice, such as 'sped their all time' instead of 'spent all their time'. To improve, you should aim to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary and collocations related to education and child development. Avoid repeating the same adjectives; instead, use synonyms to demonstrate a more flexible command of the language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'school focuses'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'they said them tp spend'), and punctuation errors. Many sentences are run-on, lacking proper coordination or subordination. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents a higher score. Focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and ensuring that sentences are clearly demarcated with appropriate punctuation.

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