Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In point of view, students learning as well as studying is crucial in primary school, rather then just focusing on formal learning it is very important. Because academic leaning is not limited in just studying or achieving knowledge, while the main agenda of school system is to make a child in a good form in physically, mentally and in knowledge. And also playing can be good for physical growth. But in some aspects over focusing on playfulness may take away student focus from studying.

To make a child good in every site academic sectors should not just aim on formal studying. The reason behind is that, the child might be good at academic knowledge but would lack in other sectors. Just staying on study and not doing anything else, can make a child exhusted and lack for interest of studying. While if a student attend in every section the student should do he will perform good in every sector. And also playing release growth hormone with is essential for a child. For example, The schools in Norway provide a schedule, where they added a section for playing.

Playful study is surely a great way and easy way of study, student brain catch the lesson faster when their mind is in joyful mood. However, there are some case where children stuck too much on playing, while they are in playing section they do not want go to study. This could be a stuck in playing, this should be maintain by belancing. For instance, Some school in Bangladesh have a limited time for playing, also try not to make the play time too much interesting to avoid student to stuck too much in playing

To sum up, it is very important to learn while playing as it create a great method to teach children. But it is important to maintain the balance of playing and studying.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout, advocating for a balanced approach. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. For instance, the argument about 'growth hormones' is mentioned but not fully explained in an academic context. While the examples from Norway and Bangladesh are relevant, they are brief and could be better integrated to support the main argument. To reach a higher band, ensure that each paragraph provides a more nuanced exploration of the benefits and potential drawbacks of the school curriculum.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, each with a central theme. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'In point of view' (incorrect usage) and 'To make a child good in every site' disrupt the flow. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as 'This could be a stuck in playing', which makes the progression of ideas feel disjointed. While the paragraphing is sufficient, the transition between sentences often lacks the sophistication required for a higher band. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used in the correct context would significantly enhance the coherence of the essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'good in every site' (likely meaning 'aspect' or 'area') and 'make a child in a good form'. The student attempts to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'formal learning' and 'academic sectors', but these are often used in repetitive or slightly unnatural ways. Spelling errors such as 'exhusted' and 'belancing' occur, though they do not impede overall communication. To improve, the student should focus on learning collocations and using more precise academic terminology.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally affect clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('student brain catch'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward phrasing ('the student should do he will perform good'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. The student should focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like pluralisation and verb tense consistency.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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