Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people believe that primary institutions pay too much attention on academic learning. I agree with this statement because this early age learning help students to boost their knowledge and it is really helpful for them in future for higher studies. In my opinion, it is advantageous for children to play and learn in the classroom because in this way they do not feel too much burden of studies.

Study of various academic subjects at primary level play a crucial role in children mind development. In fact, the vast majority of schools focus on formal studies such as science, math and English. This is because pupils get a lot of information about these subjects. If they try to learn in early ages, they pick new ideas learn quickly. Moreover, most of the tutors give formal leaning due to they know the importance of these subjects in future. For instance, in Asian countries like Pakistan schools give more preference to academic subjects for better understanding in early ages.

In my perspective, in primary schools games are as important as studies in classroom. This is because students do not feel worn out after study whole day. Secondly, children finish their classwork more quickly to play games. This is the strategy that teachers use to keep miners active therefore it is so beneficial for them. For example, in numerous schools tutors create different mind craft activities after study to keep them fresh.

In conclusion, few individuals argue that primary schools give more concentration on formal studies. I agree with this statement because it is good for children future and develop interest in different subjects. It is important for pupils to study and play in classroom, it gives them freshness and new innovative ideas.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention that formal learning helps with 'higher studies' and 'mind development', these points are not fully explored with depth. Similarly, the argument for play is supported by the idea of preventing students from feeling 'worn out', but the connection between play and cognitive development could be more robust. The position is clear throughout, but the supporting arguments lack the specific detail or nuanced analysis required for a higher band score. To improve, ensure that each main idea is supported by a more detailed explanation or a more specific, illustrative example.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'For instance', and 'In conclusion' to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing is occasionally imprecise, such as in the phrase 'This is the strategy that teachers use to keep miners active', where 'miners' appears to be a misuse of 'minors'. While the progression of ideas is generally clear, the transition between the benefits of formal study and the necessity of play could be smoother. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring they are used more naturally would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range expected at higher levels. You rely on common terms like 'good', 'helpful', and 'important'. There are also some instances of awkward collocation or word choice, such as 'pay too much attention on' (should be 'to') and 'keep miners active' (likely meant 'minors' or 'students'). While the meaning is always clear, the lack of more sophisticated or topic-specific vocabulary limits the score. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and synonyms to avoid repetition and demonstrate a wider range of lexical control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, they often contain grammatical errors, such as 'this early age learning help students' (subject-verb agreement) and 'tutors give formal leaning due to they know' (incorrect use of 'due to' instead of 'because'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor errors in sentence construction that occasionally distract the reader. To reach a higher band, focus on ensuring subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and the accurate formation of complex sentences. Increasing the frequency of error-free sentences will significantly improve your score in this criterion.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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