Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is often said that, primary academics puts more emphasis on formal learning. I strongly agree with this sentiment as the curriculums nowadays focuses much more on theoretical learning, while by forgetting the sports and physical activities aspects. I believe it is dramatically important to play along with learning for overall growth of a child.

To commence with, there are a plethora of reasons that backs the notion. The primary reason is that, in this modern era, curriculums are designed in a way that it puts more emphasis on textbook base learning to elevate the pupil’s future, whilst it has led to discard of physical activity and play aspects. In India, for instance, the academic structure of most primary school has roughly 1 to 2 physical activity or game period in a whole week, leading to issues like obesity or poor overall physical health in learners. Moreover, most of the rewards are provided on the basis of student exam score and academic performance, which negatively influence the pupil with different talent, such as sports, dance and painting.

On the other hand, involving play time in school curriculum holds numerous benefits. First and foremost, it helps develop varied interest in different categories ranging from sports and mind games to dance and singing helping them choose a future path, which might be not possible with learning focused schooling. To cite an example, primary schools in America have adopted to certain practices that helps in elevating the student interest in sports, music, dance and mind games to help them attain career in varied fields. Lastly, including play time in curriculum helps them attain active lifestyle and develops their overall health, curbing the chances of obesity and poor physical health.

To conclude, I agree with the people’s notion as school’s nowadays focus majorly on learning and influence pupils to believe academic scores are more important than play. I believe it is of utmost important to strike a balance of learning with play time and physical activities session to help develop mental and well as physical health of students.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, clearly stating a position on the focus of primary schools and the importance of play. The ideas are relevant and supported by examples from India and America. However, the development is somewhat general; for instance, the mention of American practices is vague and could be more specific to demonstrate a deeper understanding. The position is consistent throughout, and the conclusion effectively summarises the main arguments. To reach a higher band, ensure that examples are more detailed and directly linked to the specific benefits of play in a primary school context.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organised with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Moreover', and 'On the other hand' are used effectively to guide the reader. Paragraphing is used appropriately, with each paragraph focusing on a central theme. However, there are minor issues with referencing and flow, such as the slightly awkward phrasing in 'there are a plethora of reasons that backs the notion'. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow, meeting the requirements for a Band 7.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate and allows for clear communication. There is an attempt to use less common items like 'plethora', 'curbing', and 'attain'. However, there are some inaccuracies in collocation and word choice, such as 'discard of physical activity' (should be 'discarding' or 'neglect of') and 'attain career' (should be 'pursue a career'). While the range is sufficient to convey the message, these occasional errors in word choice prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Improving the precision of word usage will enhance the overall quality.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('curriculums nowadays focuses', 'school has roughly 1 to 2... period') and minor punctuation errors. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to be noticeable. To improve, focus on ensuring that subjects and verbs agree and that articles are used correctly. Despite these errors, the writer shows a good attempt at using complex structures, which supports a Band 6.5 score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.