Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Some of the community Dispute that primary schools concentrates soo much on formal learning.Its a major drawback for the lazziness in childrens nowadays.AS the changing world the minors should be trained according with some other activites and life learning skills.
Overall,Community should focus to teach the minors with some other skills and playfull activites so they can learn communication skills can get more active and theirs minds gets fresh by some playing time but its also important for a childern to get education through formal learning students can get many informative researches through formal learning.
According to my opinion,It is very important for minor of primary school to play and have some other activites rather then only focusing on formal education.It can help the students to earn more life learning skills,as well as the modes of communication with the other people ,It is very important for mind relaxation So primary schools should take measures on Playing activities as well as formal education,They can make a time schedule for a playing activity classses for the students such as playing football,cricket,rugby as well as swimming classes that can also help them in future to open wider skills in society,
On the other hand,Nowadays mobile phone have become a major drawback for children,if a students do just formal learning all day they can get tired and exhausted when they reach home and they cant have much time or energy to do such activities thet just use mobile phone rather then activites,So primary schools should focus on playing activites and set the studying plan accordingly.
In conclusion,The primary schools should focus on the playing activities of students as well as formal learning ,by outdoor playing activities they can get more chances to learn new life skills which can be more benificial in their practical life.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. While you argue that schools should balance formal learning with play, the supporting points—such as the mention of mobile phones—are not fully integrated into a cohesive argument. The position is clear, but the explanation of 'why' play is essential remains at a surface level. To improve, ensure each paragraph introduces a distinct, well-supported point rather than restating the same general idea.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression between ideas is often hindered by awkward phrasing and a lack of sophisticated cohesive devices. You rely on basic transitions like 'On the other hand' and 'In conclusion', but internal sentence cohesion is weak. For example, the transition between the benefits of play and the issue of mobile phones is abrupt. Additionally, the use of punctuation is inconsistent, with frequent run-on sentences and comma splices that disrupt the flow of your argument. Improving the use of linking words and refining sentence boundaries would significantly enhance readability.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. You frequently use basic terms like 'formal learning', 'playing activities', and 'skills'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'Dispute that primary schools concentrates' (should be 'dispute that primary schools concentrate') and 'minors' (which is often used in legal contexts rather than educational ones). Spelling errors, such as 'lazziness', 'childern', and 'benificial', are frequent. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider range of topic-specific vocabulary and ensure accurate spelling and word formation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'schools concentrates'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are run-ons, lacking proper punctuation to separate independent clauses. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often grammatically incorrect, such as 'as the changing world the minors should be trained'. The control of basic grammar is inconsistent, and the lack of accurate punctuation makes the text difficult to follow in several places. Focus on mastering simple sentence structures before attempting more complex ones.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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