Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's contemporary world, education play a very vital role in this sophisticated digital aged. a widely held consensus dictates that, formal learning is more necessary as compared to other play activities in primary schools. I am strongly disagree with this point of view. And in this essay I will support that playing game is also beneficial for kinds.

To commence with, most people believe that primary schools should need to focus more on formal education instead of doing other activities. They argue that school is only design for education purpose and they require to fully concentrate of learning. Furthermore, they spend their hard earning capital for their children to learn more advance knowledge in educational institution rather than playing game.

In my opinion, I firmly believe that education is the one part of life, the primary schools also require to pay attention for other activities. For instance, playing games, extra curricular activities, because these hobbies can enhance their creativity of solving a challenging task in their future life, and kindness to help other people in their society. As a result of this, students will be engaging more formally in learning phase.

on the other hand, providing opportunities for games as well as learn can improve the students initial judgment. Furthermore, physical activities like playing games is very beneficial for primary school students.

In conclusion, some individuals consider that focusing more on formal learning, because the only purpose of schools are education. Whereas I firmly believe that, playing game is also crucial for primary level students, because it will improve their bands. Moving further, learning as well as playing game is also beneficial for kids, because it will enhance their judgment skills.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is limited. While you state your position clearly in the introduction, the supporting arguments in the body paragraphs are repetitive and lack specific examples or depth. For instance, you mention that games enhance 'creativity' and 'kindness,' but these points are not sufficiently elaborated upon to provide a convincing argument. To improve, ensure each body paragraph focuses on a single, well-developed idea supported by a concrete example or a logical explanation of how the concept works in a real-world primary school setting.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression is often hindered by the misuse of cohesive devices and awkward transitions. For example, 'As a result of this' is used incorrectly in the third paragraph, and the transition 'Moving further' in the conclusion is inappropriate for a summary. Additionally, some sentences are disjointed, making the flow of ideas feel mechanical rather than natural. To improve, focus on using linking words that accurately reflect the relationship between ideas, such as 'consequently,' 'furthermore,' or 'in contrast,' and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'education play a very vital role' (should be 'plays') and 'hard earning capital' (should be 'hard-earned money'). You also repeat basic terms like 'playing games' and 'formal learning' frequently. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms and collocations, such as 'academic curriculum,' 'holistic development,' or 'pedagogical approaches,' and ensure that words are used in their correct grammatical form.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('education play'), article usage ('in this sophisticated digital aged'), and sentence structure ('I am strongly disagree'). While you attempt some complex sentences, they are often marred by errors, such as 'some individuals consider that focusing more on formal learning, because the only purpose of schools are education.' To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions and articles. Proofreading for these fundamental errors will significantly improve the clarity of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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