Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Nowadays, many parents believe that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. I partly agree with this statement and discuss my opinion in the following paragraphs.

On the one hand, formal learning is necessary for young children because it provides them with basic knowledge and skills. Subjects such as mathematics, science and languages help children develop their ability to read, write, calculate and solve problems. These skills are important for their future education and careers. For example, a survey conducted by education department showed that young students who spend most of their school day completing written exercises may have fewer opportunities to develop creativity and communication skills. Hence, if schools focus too much on textbooks and examination , children lose their interest in studies.

On the other hand, playing is extremely important for children's overall development. Educational games can make lessons more enjoyable while helping students learn important concepts. Group activities, for instance, can teach children how to communicate, cooperate and solve problems with others. Physical play is also beneficial because it allows children to remain active and develop coordination. For instance, study showed that too much study pressure leads health issues such as depression and brain wash. Hence, play does not necessarily mean wasting classroom time it can be an effective way of supporting learning.

In conclusion, although formal learning is essential in primary education, I believe that play is equally important because it supports children's intellectual, social and physical development. In my opinion, primary schools should maintain a balance between formal education and play. Academic subjects should remain an important part of the curriculum, but children should also have sufficient opportunities to learn through games and practical activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. Ideas are relevant, such as the mention of social skills and physical health, though some arguments could be further extended with more specific examples. For instance, the reference to a 'survey conducted by education department' is vague and lacks detail. However, the overall development is sufficient to meet the requirements of the task, providing a balanced view that supports the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two main arguments. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'For instance', and 'Hence' are used effectively to guide the reader through the argument. The progression of ideas is smooth, and the relationship between formal learning and play is well-articulated. There is a minor issue with referencing in the second paragraph ('study showed'), but this does not impede the overall flow or clarity of the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally appropriate and sufficient for the task. The student uses topic-specific terms like 'formal learning', 'overall development', and 'curriculum'. There are some minor inaccuracies, such as the phrase 'brain wash', which is used incorrectly in the context of health issues. While the range is adequate to convey meaning clearly, it lacks the sophistication or precision required for a higher band score. The student demonstrates a good grasp of common academic collocations, but there is limited use of less common or idiomatic language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There is good control over basic grammar, and most sentences are clear. However, there are some minor errors, such as missing articles ('a survey conducted by education department' should be 'the education department') and minor punctuation issues ('examination ,'). The use of complex structures is present but occasionally results in slight awkwardness. Despite these errors, the grammar does not impede communication, and the student shows a reasonable level of control over sentence construction.

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