Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

IN TODAYS WORLD IT IS A MOJOR CONCERN SCHOOLS AND EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTES OFTENLY EDUCATE STUDENTS IN A VERY FORMAL ATMOSPHERE.SOME INDIVIDUALS AGREE WITH THE STATEMENT WHILE GROUP OF INDIVIDUALS ALSO CONTRADICT THAT CHILDREN SHOULD HAVE A FREINDLY ENVIRONMENT AT SCHOLLS. I FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT SCHOOLS MUST HAVE A FUN LOVING CURRICULUM FOR BETTER PERFOMANCE IN ACADEMICS.

EDUCATION IS A SIGNIFICANT NEED IN TODAYS WORLD. JUVENILES ARE FORCED AND PRESSURED BY THEIR PARENTS AND TUTORS FOR BETTER PERFORMANCE WHUCH ADVERSLY AFFECTS THEIR ACADEMIC SCORE. THE WAY TEACHING SHOULD BE MORE CREATIVE AND INTRESTING TO KEEP CHILDREN MORE FOCUSED IN THE STUDY. IF YOUNGSTERS HAVING BORING CURRICULUM IT BECOMES DIFFICULT FOR THEM TO PAY ATTENTION IN CLASSROOMS.

PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES SUCH AS PLAYING GAMES AND RUNNING MAKES THE CHILDREN DIVERT THEIR MINDS ADDITIONALLY JUVENILES STAND TO BENEFIT FROM PHYSICAL ACTIVITY. PLAYING OUTDOOR ENHANCES THEIR MENTAL STRENGHT AND MOTIVATES FRESH THOUGHTS THEREFORE IT PLAYING AND DOING PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES HOLDS A PARAMOUNT OF IMAPRTANCE IN STUDENTS ABILITY TO STUDY.THOUGH SCHOOLS MUST BE STRICT TO AN EXTENT BE IT IN TERMS OF NOT ALLOWING STUDENT TO CHEAT IN EXAMINATIONS THEY SHOULD ALSO TRY TO IMPLEMENT MORE INFORMAL LEARNING STUCTURES LIKE GIVING A GOOD AMOUNT OF PALYING TIME AND USING COLORFUL CHARTS TO EXPLAIN A CONCEPT FURTHERMORE INVOLVING CHILDREN IN ACTIVITIES SUCH AS PERFORMING SKITS IS ALSO ONE OF THE EFFECTIVE WAY TO INCLUDE FOR ENCOURAGING CHILDREN.MOREOVER, A FREINDLY MENTOR HELPS THE STUDENT TO BE MORE CREATIVE AS THERE WOULDNT BE ANY FEAR IN YOUNGSTERS OF BEING RIGHT OR WRONG,THEY WOULDNT HESITATE TO CONVEY THEIR THOUGHTS.

TO CONCLUDE, I STRONGLY SGREE THAT JUVELINES MUST HAVE A INFORMAL SETTING IN SCHOOLS RATHER THAN FORMAL LEARNING ENVIRONMENT AS IT AFFECTS THE STUDENTS MENTAL HEALTH RESULTING IN POOR ACADEMIC SCORE.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are relevant. However, the development is somewhat repetitive, particularly in the second and third paragraphs, where the benefits of play are discussed in a similar manner. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more nuanced examples or deeper analysis of why formal learning is perceived as excessive, rather than just stating that it is boring. The conclusion effectively summarizes your stance, though it introduces a new point about mental health that was not fully explored in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'additionally', 'therefore', and 'moreover' to link ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'it playing and doing physical activities holds a paramount of imaprtance'. Additionally, there are issues with punctuation, specifically missing spaces after commas and periods, which disrupts the flow of reading. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring consistent paragraph structure would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'curriculum', 'academic performance', and 'informal learning structures'. However, there are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'MOJOR', 'SCHOLLS', 'FREINDLY', 'IMAPRTANCE', 'JUVELINES') and some word choice inaccuracies, such as 'oftenly' (should be 'often') and 'paramount of importance' (should be 'paramount importance'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to limit your score. To improve, focus on proofreading for common spelling mistakes and learning the correct collocations for the words you use.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('If youngsters having boring curriculum it becomes difficult') and missing articles or incorrect verb forms ('The way teaching should be more creative'). Punctuation is also a significant issue, with many instances of missing spaces after punctuation marks. While you attempt complex structures, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the text from being consistently accurate. Focusing on basic sentence structure and proofreading for small grammatical slips will help improve your score.

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