Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There is an ongoing debate about the study in primary schools because many people think that they focus more on formal learning. I think in this modern era schools also have scheduled activites for children play inside classroom along with formal education and I think it is pretty important.

Firstly formal learning in old time was about focused and disciplined edcuation during primary school life but in this modern time this has transitioned into more active and joyful study which includes playing with formal education as it is equally important in today's life. One important reason is because of technology specially mobile phone and internet has changed the mentality of new generation because they have become addicted to these and to overcome these unnecessary activites it is quite important to get children involved in extra-curricular activities.

Secondly we need to understand both formal education and playing are important because if one is given more priority over the other there can be negative results in certain ways which will affect the mentality of a child. Both formal learning and playing help children build characteristics which help them in the long run and later in their professional life. Playing teches students how to work in team rather than alone, When to depend on others and when not it is an important distinction that should be understood early on. These type of mentality builds strong and independent character.

In conclusion I would say formal education and playing both have their own pros and cons if one given is more time and importance than other so keeping students engaged in both is more important rather than arguing and prefering one over the other.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention technology as a reason for the shift in education, the link between 'unnecessary activities' and the need for play could be more clearly articulated. The position is clear, but the arguments lack depth and specific examples from personal experience or broader knowledge. To reach a higher band, ensure that each paragraph provides a more thorough explanation of the 'why' behind your claims rather than just stating them.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the flow between sentences is slightly disjointed, such as the transition in the third paragraph: 'When to depend on others and when not it is an important distinction'. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some relevant terms like 'extra-curricular activities' and 'disciplined education'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are occasional errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'activites' (activities), 'edcuation' (education), and 'prefering' (preferring). To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary and collocations to demonstrate a wider range and better control over word formation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with punctuation, missing articles, and subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'technology specially mobile phone and internet has changed', 'These type of mentality'). Some sentences are run-on or lack necessary commas, which affects readability. To achieve a higher score, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and attempt to use a wider variety of complex structures with greater precision.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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