Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Different levels of studies have different modes of learning while some individuals tend to believe that the main course of study in early school system is very formal. Although, some people may disagree with this notion but I completely agree with this statement. This essay articulates my view on this arguement together with the importance of extra-curricular activites in primary school.

To commence with the role of formal learing, as we know the early stage of life is the developmental age of every children where they begin their learning from fundamental subjects such as English, Mathematics, General Science and Art. These modules play a significant role to strengthen the basic foundation of primary educators. For instance, the subtraction and addition in mathematics is the basic part of advance mathematics. That's why, the elementary schools introduce this fundamental courses in their initial levels so that student build up their strong concepts for advance studies.

Moving toward the role of playful activites along with learning in a elementary level. They play essential role on their physical, mental and social improvements. By this I means, these fun activities enhance motor and coordination skills that is essential in their primary stage. Moreover, the involvement of youngsters in the extra curricular activites support their overall cognitive development, which can support academia learning. In addition to that, team sports teach children coordination, cooperation and communication that ultimately boost their confidence. Consequently, the sports are particualarly essential to build up motor and intrapersonal skills.

In conclusion, the main focus of elementary schools on building the strong foundation of their students by providing formal studies. Furthermore, I also believe that the extra curricular activites are also very important in order to make strong and resilient personality of kids from a very young age.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, while you mention that formal subjects build a foundation, the explanation is repetitive and lacks depth. Similarly, the section on play lists benefits like 'motor and coordination skills' but does not fully explore how these integrate into a primary school classroom setting. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is supported by more detailed reasoning or specific, illustrative examples rather than general statements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. You use cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Moving toward', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are instances where referencing is unclear, such as 'By this I means' (which should be 'By this I mean'). The progression of ideas is generally smooth, but the connection between sentences could be more sophisticated to improve the flow of the argument. Overall, the structure is coherent and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'developmental age', 'cognitive development', and 'resilient'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'primary educators' (when you likely meant 'primary education') and 'academia learning' (which should be 'academic learning'). Additionally, there are minor spelling errors like 'particualarly' and 'activites'. While these do not impede communication, they prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Expanding your vocabulary to include more precise academic collocations would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('every children', 'this fundamental courses') and incorrect verb forms ('student build up'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some awkward phrasings that slightly disrupt the flow. The majority of sentences are understandable, but the frequency of these minor errors indicates that you have not yet achieved full control over complex structures. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical agreement would significantly improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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