Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is widely argued that educational institutes focus significantly on formal learning in early years. I firmly agree with the statement that in primary schools focus is on goal-driven education because of competition and basic concepts required in future but a balanced approach should be used so students can learn how to survive in life.

One of the main disadvantage of formal education is that it is rigid due to which students memorize the concepts rather than learning. Moreover, play-based learning should be used in schools as it fosters creativity whereas pushing abstract concepts, desk-bound learning can cause anxiety and diminish intrinsic curiosity. For instance, pupils in early years are asked to memorize alphabets without using different techniques such as sensory boxes to introduce play with learning.

Furthermore, restricting school time only with formal education decreases the chances of building emotional resilience and social skills which leads to students who are shy. Although, students learn during lessons because they do not develop motor skills which is the main reason for people advocating to introduce play in primary schools. For example, a pupil learns conflict resolution when they solve a puzzle during class time which also increases creativity.

I think it is of significant importance that children play as well as learn in early years in classroom because formal education provides the concept but play helps in motor skills, social skills and creativity.

In conclusion, governments should work with schools to form policies to introduce a well-structured syllabus with informal education that includes play because it fosters growth in creativity, motor skills and social skills.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. You clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain it throughout. The ideas are relevant, such as the mention of motor skills and social development. However, some points are under-developed. For instance, the argument about 'conflict resolution' is a good start but could be expanded with a more specific example of how a classroom environment facilitates this. To reach a higher band, ensure that every point is fully extended with clear, logical reasoning rather than just stating the benefit.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or awkward, such as the sentence starting with 'Although, students learn during lessons because they do not develop motor skills', which is confusingly phrased and lacks a clear logical link to the previous sentence. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the internal cohesion within the third paragraph needs more precision to ensure the flow of ideas is seamless.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'intrinsic curiosity', 'emotional resilience', and 'goal-driven'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'educational institutes' (usually 'educational institutions') and 'main disadvantage' (should be plural 'disadvantages' given the context). While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, the control is not yet fully consistent. To improve, focus on collocations and ensuring that words are used in their most natural context to convey your meaning with greater precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader, such as 'in primary schools focus is on' (missing article 'the') and 'restricting school time only with formal education' (preposition error; 'to' would be better). Additionally, the sentence 'Although, students learn during lessons because they do not develop motor skills' is grammatically problematic and unclear. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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