Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Some people believe that primary schools are largely concerned with formal learning. I completely agree with the perspective that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, I believe that play should have an important role in the classroom.

One of the main reasons why schools should not only focus on giving children formal education is they can become stressed and bored. Children often cannot concentrate for too long on subjects like science and mathematics. It may put great pressure on their minds causing them to be mentally exhausted. As they are in growing age they need some other cocurricular activities to expand their thinking and

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response is significantly under-length at only 106 words, failing to meet the 250-word minimum requirement. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed. While you state a clear position, the ideas are severely underdeveloped. You mention that children become 'stressed and bored' and need 'cocurricular activities,' but these points are not supported with specific examples or logical extensions. To improve, you must expand each body paragraph with detailed explanations and concrete examples to fully explore both parts of the prompt. Currently, the response lacks the depth required for a higher band score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay is too short to demonstrate effective paragraphing or a logical progression of ideas. While there is a basic attempt to introduce the topic and provide a reason, the text ends abruptly mid-sentence, which disrupts the flow and coherence. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link ideas effectively. To improve, you should ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, supporting details, and a concluding thought, using linking words like 'furthermore,' 'consequently,' or 'in addition' to connect your arguments logically.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is functional but basic. Phrases like 'largely concerned with,' 'formal learning,' and 'mentally exhausted' are appropriate, but the range is limited. There is little evidence of less common lexical items or idiomatic language. Because the text is so brief, it is difficult to assess your ability to use a wide range of vocabulary. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to education and child development, and ensure your word choices are varied and sophisticated.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex structures, but the grammatical control is inconsistent. There is a comma splice in the first paragraph ('...formal learning, I believe...'), which is a punctuation error. The sentence structure is generally simple, and the unfinished sentence at the end prevents a full assessment of your grammatical range. To improve, focus on using a variety of complex sentence structures, such as relative clauses or conditional sentences, and pay closer attention to punctuation rules to ensure your writing is accurate and error-free.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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