Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people think that primary schools are largely concerned with formal learning. I completely agree with the perspective that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, I believe that play should have an important role in the classroom. One of the main reasons why schools should not only focus on giving children formal education is they can become stressed and bored. Children often cannot concentrate for too long on subjects like science and mathematics. It may put great pressure on their minds causing them to be mentally exhausted. As children are still developing they need some other cocurricular activities to expand their thinking and to understand certain things. Which are easy to understand through games and other activities rather than memorizing books or focusing too much on theoretical knowledge. I strongly believe that there should be some play time in the classroom where they would be better able to learn different concepts. Children are more likely to remember things they learn while doing exciting activities. For instance teachers can make them solve puzzles to arrange different words according to correct spellings, children will learn to make different words while playing a game. They would do it more happily without realizing that they are learning useful skills or knowledge. In addition teachers can arrange mental math sessions for them to teach them basic concept of mathematics in a fun way. Furthermore, I think teaching them conceptually from young age can help them learn things in a effective way instead of just memorizing due to which they may become habitual to it when they grow up.

In conclusion, I think primary educational institutes put too much emphasis on formal learning and they should maintain a balance between intense learning and fun activities as it plays a crucial role in children's overall development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you provide examples like puzzles and mental math, the explanation of why play is important for development could be more deeply explored to reach a higher band. The ideas are relevant and support the argument well, but the essay would benefit from more sophisticated analysis of the balance between academic rigor and developmental needs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'For instance', 'In addition', and 'Furthermore' to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical. Some transitions are missing or abrupt, such as the sentence starting with 'Which are easy to understand...', which is a sentence fragment that disrupts the flow. Improving the use of referencing and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'cocurricular', 'mentally exhausted', and 'theoretical knowledge'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of slightly unnatural word choices, such as 'habitual to it' instead of 'accustomed to it'. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, but to achieve a higher band, you should aim to incorporate more precise collocations and a wider variety of academic vocabulary to express your ideas with greater sophistication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors. For example, the comma splice in the first paragraph ('...formal learning, I believe...') and the sentence fragment starting with 'Which are...' are notable issues. There are also minor errors in article usage and preposition choice. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on sentence boundary punctuation and complex sentence construction will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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