Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In the recent few decades, there has been increasing debate over whether primary schools should incorporate physical activity or focus on the traditional way of learning
While both approaches may benefit students in learning and being engaged in the school environment, I believe incorporating physical activity and letting the students play is far more effective for students to study than just studying through formal ways of learning
On one hand, supporters of formal learning argue that formal learning keeps students focused and teaches them discipline, which helps them later on in life; they believe that playing and studying cannot be balanced simultaneouly for a primary school child and the child may use playing as a excuse to avoid studying this mentality is seen in many south asian household where playing instead of studying is seen as waste of time moreover playing or any kind of phycial activity is seen a luxury for the child which can be taken away if that child has been not academically performing well
Consequently, on the other hand, supporters of
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response is significantly under the 250-word minimum requirement, which severely impacts the development of the argument. While you attempt to address both parts of the prompt, the essay is incomplete, ending abruptly mid-sentence. Because the response is unfinished, the position is not fully developed, and the second part of the prompt regarding the importance of play is not adequately explored. To improve, you must ensure you complete the essay structure and provide sufficient supporting evidence for your arguments to meet the length requirement and demonstrate a full exploration of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks proper paragraphing and punctuation, which makes the flow of ideas difficult to follow. There is a lack of sentence-level punctuation, such as periods or commas, which creates run-on sentences. While you use some cohesive devices like 'On one hand' and 'Consequently', the overall structure is fragmented because the essay is incomplete. To improve, focus on using clear paragraph breaks for each main idea and ensure that each sentence is clearly demarcated with appropriate punctuation to guide the reader through your argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally functional but limited in range. You use some relevant terms like 'formal learning', 'discipline', and 'academically performing', but there is a lack of more sophisticated or precise academic vocabulary. There are also some minor errors in word choice, such as 'in the recent few decades' (should be 'In recent decades') and 'as a excuse' (should be 'as an excuse'). To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more varied and precise collocations and ensure consistent accuracy in your word choices.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The grammatical range is limited, and the lack of punctuation is a major issue. The text consists of long, run-on sentences that lack necessary commas and full stops, which makes the writing difficult to parse. There are also errors in subject-verb agreement and article usage, such as 'a excuse' and 'a waste of time'. While some complex structures are attempted, the lack of control over basic sentence boundaries significantly hinders clarity. Focusing on sentence structure and basic punctuation will be the most effective way to improve your score in this area.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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