Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Nowadays, there is a argue that many people think that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. Although learning is important in young age and equal balance between study and playing is more beneficial for student. However, i majorly agree with this nation and my point of views will be discussed in ensuing paragraphs.
To commence with, formal learning help children develop essential academic skills. Moreover, subjects such as mathematics, science and language provide them a basic knowledge which is good for their higher education in future careers. For illustrate, learning to read and write in early age can increase students ability of communication and understanding information. Furthermore, regular lessons can also teach a child how to stay in a discipline, concentration and time managment.
Moving further ahead, playing and socailising is also important part of childhood . Through games and group activites children devlop their communication and confidence. In teamwork they gain problem solving skills. In addition, more acedamic presure in early can cause a stress on children.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 170 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas. While the essay addresses both parts of the prompt—the extent of agreement and the importance of play—the arguments are underdeveloped. For instance, the benefits of play are mentioned briefly without sufficient explanation or illustrative examples. The position is stated in the introduction, but the lack of depth and the failure to reach the required length prevent a higher score. To improve, you must expand on your points with specific examples and detailed reasoning.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. There is a basic attempt at using cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Moreover', and 'Moving further ahead'. However, the progression of ideas is somewhat mechanical, and the transitions between sentences are occasionally abrupt. The conclusion is entirely missing, which is a significant omission that affects the overall coherence of the piece. To improve, ensure you include a clear concluding paragraph that summarizes your main points and restates your position.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are several spelling errors, such as 'socailising', 'devlop', 'acedamic', and 'managment'. Additionally, some word choices are awkward, such as 'there is a argue' and 'i majorly agree with this nation' (likely intended 'notion'). The range of vocabulary is limited, relying on basic terms. To improve, focus on learning correct spellings and using more precise academic collocations rather than simple, repetitive phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'learning is important in young age' (missing article), 'formal learning help children' (subject-verb agreement), and 'For illustrate' (incorrect prepositional phrase). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the placement of commas and the capitalization of 'i'. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar limits the score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and article usage to improve accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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