Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argued that some primary schools are more inclined towards formal learning than extracurriculars. I completely agree with the opinion. This essay will discuss on all the arguments before presenting my own.

Overall, it is evident that most of the educational institutions today focus more on formal study. Although, this is is a concerning situation because the children should be taught in such way that they not only score well but also learn something that is effective. For example, if the students are only taught to excel in examinations, they might score well but when they pass out from the school they will struggle to fit into the society. Hence learning the skills along with play is as important as studying.

Another factor is that, a student may not be good at studies, but he might be able to excel in sports. This is why children should be allowed to play as well as learn. Meanwhile, some teachers will force the students to study. For instance, if Cristiano Ronaldo had just focused on his studies then he wouldn't have been a great football player. It is because he had focused on sports along with his curriculum.

Therefore, I completely agree that the schools are diverted more towards formal education. Moreover, I think that if the schools try to integrate the curriculum with sports and games, the children can lead a better life. Furthermore, I believe that the government should play a part in formulating policies that will benefit a student's learning. Consequently, this will turn the next generation into a effective and efficient society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development is somewhat limited. While you state your position clearly, the arguments provided—such as the example of Cristiano Ronaldo—are a bit simplistic and lack depth. To reach a higher band, you should expand on the pedagogical benefits of play, such as social-emotional development or cognitive flexibility, rather than relying solely on a sports-based example. The conclusion is clear, but the overall argument could be more nuanced to fully explore the 'extent' of the issue.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central idea. You use cohesive devices such as 'Overall,' 'Another factor is that,' and 'Therefore' to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical or repetitive. For instance, the use of 'Furthermore' and 'Moreover' in the final paragraph is slightly redundant. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally weak; for example, the phrase 'this is is a concerning situation' is slightly vague. Improving the flow between sentences within paragraphs would help create a more seamless progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using words like 'extracurriculars,' 'integrate,' and 'curriculum.' However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, 'pass out from the school' is an informal, incorrect idiom; 'graduate from school' would be more appropriate. You also use 'diverted' in a context where 'skewed' or 'focused' might be more precise. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated collocations and avoid informal phrasing to demonstrate a wider, more flexible range of vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors that occasionally distract the reader. For example, 'this is is a concerning situation' contains a repetition error, and 'in such way that' is missing an article ('in such a way'). There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage, such as 'an effective and efficient society' (where 'an' is used before a consonant sound). While these errors do not prevent communication, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. Focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and article usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.